81. 83. 49. 66. What do these figures have in common? They all relate to burnout–that sense of being utterly depleted, worn out, and chronically exhausted. Recent research shows that work burnout affects 81% of those between ages 18 – 24, 83% of those who are 25 – 34, and 49% of those over 55. When averaged, a whopping 66 percent of working adults report experiencing burnout. Even worse, these figures don’t account for groups such as full-time (stay-at-home) parents, family caregivers, and undocumented workers who often experience significant levels of stress and burnout. And while there is no magic cure for burnout, there are steps we can take to minimize the stress and negative cycles that tend to feed the burnout phenomenon.

Join Dr. Carla and seasoned burnout expert Janice Litvin who will give us well-honed tools to help us stop burnout in its tracks–and move forward in healthy ways. Topics discussed include self-awareness, self-care, burnout, stress, journaling, intergenerational patterns, family dynamics, work environment, work, bosses, human resources, support, full-time caregivers, stay-at-home parents, full-time parenting, commute, working from home, work environment, human resources, community support, mentors, support groups, burnout prevention, self-assessment, empowerment, personal power, over-reacting, triggers, victim mentality, attitude, empowerment, and personal power.

*Statistics referenced can be found here.

Please note that this episode contains sensitive material; listener discretion is advised.

Emergency Assistance Note: If you or someone you know needs immediate support, please call your emergency services. In the US, 24/7 help is available by calling “911” or “988” (Suicide and Crisis Hotline). Support/informational links are in the show notes.

Connect with Dr. Carla Manly:

Website: https://www.drcarlamanly.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcarlamanly/

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/drcarlamanly/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drcarlamanly

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carla-marie-manly-8682362b/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr_carlamanly_imperfect_love

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr_carla_manly

Books by Dr. Carla Manly:

Joy From Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend

Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships and Love Fearlessly

Aging Joyfully: A Woman’s Guide to Optimal Health, Relationships, and Fulfillment for Her 50s and Beyond

The Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached Relationships

Oracle decks by Dr. Carla Manly:

Etsy

Amazon

Connect with Janice Litvin:

Website: https://janicelitvin.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/janicelitvin/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JaniceLitvinSpeaks/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janicelitvin/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYuDvEshzl1Fkv49Jg7oVVA

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Banish Burnout and Boost Self-Care with Expert Janice Litvin

Top Tips for Banishing Burnout and Boosting Self-Care!

Eighty-one, 83, 49, 66, what do these figures have in common? They all relate to burnout. That sense of being utterly depleted, worn out and chronically exhausted. Research shows that work burnout affects 81% of those who are 18 to 24, 83% of those 25 to 34 and 49% of those over 55. When averaged, a whopping 66% of working adults report experiencing burnout. Even worse, these figures don’t account for groups, such as full-time parents, family caregivers and undocumented workers. All of whom often experience significant levels of stress and burnout.

While there is no magic cure for burnout, there are steps we can take to minimize the stress and negative cycles that tend to feed the burnout phenomenon. I’m joined by a seasoned burnout expert who will give us well-honed tools to help us stop burnout in its tracks and move forward in healthy ways. We’ll focus on this reader’s real-life question.

“I love your show. It helps during my long commute to work. I know this sounds weird, but I miss the pandemic because I could work from home. There was a lot less stress and I got more done. I’ve had to return to the office. No more working from home and it sucks because I got used to life without a two-hour commute each way. I feel way more stressed all around. My coworkers don’t seem as happy and the commute seems longer. Everything feels worse and I feel old but I’m only 27. Do you have any suggestions?” With that issue is the focus of this episode. Please note as this episode may contain sensitive information. Reader discretion is advised.

I’m joined by a delightful special guest, Janice Litvin. Janice is a burnout expert, author, and professional consultant. Welcome to the show, Janice. It’s such a delight to have you with us.

Thank you so much, Dr. Carla Marie Manly. I’m delighted to be here. Thanks for having me.

I so appreciate all the work you do because not only do you help spread information about stopping burnout and healing from burnout but you promote overall wellness in the workplace and outside of the workplace. That’s a big task in this stressful world. Thank you for all the work that you do, and before we launch into responding to this reader’s question. Could you tell our readers just a little bit about what makes you, you?

I could go on for the whole time talking about what makes me, me but I’m a combination of the people that came before me, my parents especially, my grandparents and the culture that was passed down to have a work hard and a good strong ethic and to love other people. I find luckily and I’ve been told this many times, when I deliver keynote talks, people come up to me and say, “You’re so energetic. You’re so enthusiastic, and you have a lot of intuition.” I think that answers your question.

That’s beautiful. It sounds as if you’re heritage, the intergenerational parts of what have come down to you. It’s so loved and energetic and diligent very much this. I could tell because I met you just briefly before the show, you do have a lot of energy. Your parents and your grandparents, did they hail from the US?

My grandparents came from Latvia, which at the time was owned by Russia. My mother was born there but within the first year, they emigrated to America. There’s so many stories about being chased by the Cossacks and having to be hard workers and hard drivers. My mother used to always say, “You don’t have to like your job. You just have to do your job.” That comes from somebody who grew up during the great depression. We don’t have that attitude anymore in the workplace, but it’s an underlying theme that came through my life.

Thank you. That’s a lovely way to pivot into this reader’s question because they’re talking about not being happy at work, and we have become very accustomed. Our not-so-distant ancestors did what they needed to do. Whether it was working in the fields or picking up coal or whatever they work in the coal mines. Liking your job wasn’t nearly as important as having a job so you could feed your family. Now, it evolved to a place in life where we do want to and expect to at least like our jobs.

Defining & Understanding Burnout

When I was reading the question from the readers, I thought, “I have been there.” Not the two-hour commute part. That sounds miserable but doing a job before my career as a clinical psychologist. It’s a job that I did, not because I liked it because I had to pay bills. It’s not an uncommon theme. Let’s talk about your perspective on burnout and what causes it and then we can pivot into some tips and tools to help our readers have some good takeaways about what they can do to combat burnout and heal from it.

There are two main causes of burnout, in my opinion, and I’ve done a lot of thinking about this as you can imagine. First of all, burnout can come from our internal thoughts and feelings and how we react to stress and how we were role models. Where we in a family of overreactors? Were we in a family of victims, where everything is somebody else’s fault? There’s a lot about the heritage within the family. What I have come to learn and experience for my clients is that burnout can also come from the environment.

The organizational values and policies like your reader who has to drive to work two hours each way. That’s a ridiculous policy that a lot of CEOs put into practice after COVID, and there are many others. There are many other workplace and events, so to speak, that happened because of all the various personalities. Every workplace is a melting pot of a mix of personality and cultures, especially nowadays and in California, where it’s okay to do certain behavior in one culture, but not in another.

For example, I held a leadership roundtable a few months ago. One woman who came from an Asian culture said, “I would never say no to anybody, ever especially my bosses.” I’m here to teach people how to push back and say no without saying no so that they can set healthy boundaries and take care of themselves.

Thank you. Let’s segment this because there’s already a lot on the table. First, look at the internal factors that contribute to stress and often the burnout that results from the stress and the ongoing stress. Look at how those internal voices that the training that maybe have has been passed down from generation. I know, from my experience. God love my parents, they are wonderful human beings who worked very hard. The idea was work was, put your nose down, put your head down and do what needs to be done, period.

It’s all about success. That ethos, which is still in many of us or many of our parents. It is the part that we want to start to dismantle to see if it’s there. I work with young adults and older adults and people in the middle. Even though there is less of that in the younger age groups, it’s still there. All of those should messages that say, “I should just do this.” As you said, in some cultures saying no, especially to an authority figure. It’s not going to happen. What do you see as a way for people to realize that they have this internal mantra about doing what is supposed to be done or what should be done rather than finding that balance of what feels good to the self but also allows one to be successful in life?

Internal Factors & Self-Awareness

Number one, what I’ve been thinking about while you were speaking and it happens to be the first tool in my book, Banished Burnout Toolkit is self-awareness. That takes everything that you talked about into consideration. Awareness of how I behave, react, think and feel in reaction to something that someone else says or does. As I said, some of that comes down through the generational training and some of it comes down from our own life experience.

Rather than being an overreactor, becoming aware and this didn’t happen to me. By the way, I should tell you and I forgot to tell you before. I had eight years of therapy with a Jungian therapist, in which after the years I thought, “I’m done. I’ve solved all my problems with my family, my parents, how I live, who I am, and how to make sense of my independence.” That was many years ago, and then a few years ago, I became aware.

Do you know how they talk about peeling the onion? A few years ago, I realized that there was still an issue where I would set myself up to feel rejected from time to time. I decided to go on a little research adventure with myself to figure out when and how that was happening and how there was a pattern in my thought processes that caused me to feel these feelings. It all happened one day when I was with my mother at a family event on the East Coast, where they grew up.

My mother said something that sparked me into awareness. That all of that role modeling of her setting herself up to feel rejected came down to me because that’s what I saw and that’s all I knew. That was my beloved mother. We like to think of our mothers as perfect on the one sense in that true unconditional love sense. On the other, they’re dealing with issues and doing the best they can. I realized that I inherited those feelings from my mother. That was a huge awareness for me.

I appreciate that you gave us this personal perspective because we often think after being in therapy, whether it’s eight sessions or eight years of sessions that it’s done. My fourth book, The Joy of Imperfect Love talks about every chapter begins with a cabochon. A gemstone that’s polished, and remind myself as I wrote and readers that this process of becoming is one that we are evolving. Especially if we’re mindful, then we’re blessed enough to evolve throughout our lives to the time we have our very last breath.

The idea of therapy is one and done or therapy is one book and then we’re done or one couple session and then we’re done or one burnout coach and then we’re done. It’s the idea because life will bring us new stressors. Another layer of the onion to keep peeling, which is part of the beauty of being human. We are so imperfect that we get the privilege of continuing to polish and polish. I appreciate you brought up that piece. The other important piece that you touched upon is how important it is to start with self-awareness.

I agree, we’re very much in a chord on that. That without our self-awareness, we do slip into old patterns like blaming or saying, “It’s mom’s fault. Dad’s fault or the boss’s fault. Look at what everybody does to me. Nobody wants me. Everybody rejects me and/or everybody, whatever.” When we start looking at, what’s going on inside here? What can I do about this individual? Now, there may be people out there that are negative and harmful to you and their behaviors are but then you learn coping strategies.

You learn how to have boundaries with them. You learn not to let them get to you, how to keep away from them, and that thing. Push back when necessary. All of these things lead back to your first point in your book, which I didn’t know was your first point. Thank you. The self-awareness is so critical. We can offer that to all of our readers and in the individual who wrote in, look for the self-awareness. How would I know how I encourage people to develop more self-awareness? How do you encourage people to develop self-awareness?

First and foremost, it’s journaling, as I’m sure you’ll agree because when you write with a pen and a piece of paper. If you have to use a device, fine, but something different gets activated and triggered in the brain when you write with your hands and things come out or different triggers come out that help you make sense of different elements that happen in life that are still, I call them prickers or stingers, triggers that are bothering us.

Someone comes and says something that seems innocuous and you have this overreaction. It happens to all of us, even those of us who feel their self-aware. You think there must be a trigger that is still holding power over me. Taking back the power by getting to know ourselves deeply when things happen is extremely important and powerful.

Let’s pause on the journaling. I, too, agree in the power of journaling. It sounds like we had this discussion before him but we didn’t. It just happens that we’re very aligned and being trained as a Jungian therapist. Carl Jung’s work makes sense. That journaling helps us delve into the unconscious mind. I have a quick story that is appropriate to this. I love dismantling dreams. I do it for clients and for myself.

A couple weeks ago, I had this dream and I can you usually tease them apart but I wanted to take the quick lane instead of journaling about it and I asked my husband. I said, “Honey, would you think of this dream?” He’s not very Jungian and oriented at all. He was like, “It sounds weird.” I did what I would normally do, I journaled. By the end of the second page, and I agree and research shows something magical happens with pen to paper or pencil to paper. The brain loves that. There’s a flow. Again, I agree with you.

If you can’t do that and all you have is a device then used to device. By the end of that second page, I went, “That’s what the dream was about.” It unraveled itself. I wasn’t even trying. As I was writing out to the end and finished the last sentences. “Silly me. That was right there.” That is indeed the power of journaling. We might not get to the end of a page of journaling and have an answer but I found that the more we journal, non-judgmental journaling, free association journaling, and not checking for grammars, spelling or how pretty you’re writing.

Only letting the site key unleash. Sometimes, its hours afterwards. Sometimes, a day later or a week later, we go, “I had this magnificent insight.” I agree with you. I’m so glad we paused on the self-awareness piece because whether it’s journaling, talking to a therapist, a mentor, a non-judgmental friend or family member. Having a place where we can think, where we can talk things out and have someone we trust reflect back to us what might be happening. It gets the psyche going. What’s another tip for our readers about developing more internal awareness about where this stress is coming from or where this burnout is coming from?

The Power Of Pausing & Self-Regulation

Believe it or not, and you already said something. You said the word pause and pausing is crucial to give you a chance in the heat of battle, so to speak, in the middle of a situation. Whether it’s with another person or in line at the grocery store with negative feelings that might be happening because the lines are moving too slowly for you. Pausing and asking yourself, does this situation warrant this degree of anger and anxiety? Quite often, the answer is no. Especially if you have an overreacting mind like I do. Do I need to be this upset?

I’ll tell you a quick vignette because it fits. It’s like mundane situation. One day, I was in a hurry, which is not ever a good thing. We were having a birthday party for my son’s girlfriend at the time. She loved this one store, so I wanted to get her the gift card for this one store. I go to this gigantic Safeway. For those who don’t know, it’s a grocery chain on the West Coast. I’m walking through and they have three aisles of gift cards. Can you imagine?

You’re trying to find one particular gift card and I’m looking and looking and I’m watching my watch because I’m in a hurry. I can’t find this gift card. “These stupid people told me the gift card was here. Why can’t I find it? I’m so irritated. I’m going to express my anger when I get to the front of the store.” I’m marching through this long store in a hurry and aggravated. By the way, I’ve already done the work and I’ve already reading this book by the time this is happening, so I have a lot of self-awareness.

I’m walking to the front and I thankfully caught myself in the act. I had a little talk with myself and said, “Why are you so angry about this situation? Do you need to be this upset? What if you’re late? Ten minutes late to a party. People don’t always come exactly at the starting time. Why are you so angry? Do you need to be this angry?” I said to myself, “No, I don’t.”

I can choose to smile at myself and smile at the person at the front of the store and say, “Pardon me. Could you help me please? I’m having so much trouble finding this one gift card for my son’s girlfriend. By the way, how is your day going?” My son taught me that, asking people how is your day going even though they’re there to serve. Showing that you care not only makes them happy. It makes you happy.

That’s a beautiful story because it’s a reminder that if we can envision something that helps us slow down and take that pause. It’s easy in this busy world to get dysregulated and to not even be aware that we’re dysregulated. Whether you envision a stop sign. For me, I like envisioning a field of lavender. For some people, it’s helpful for them to count like, “5, 4, 3, 2, and 1.” I often have people who get so dysregulated that for them working from ten backward is necessary in order to just get to a place of calm so they can ask themselves. Is this big reaction warranted in this situation?

Without judgment, generally, our big reactions are coming from a place of overwhelm or fear that are bigger than the situation calls for. That is one of the big stress managements. Thank you for calling it out because those stress management tips of remember, pause. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter where you are. Unless you’re in the middle of freeway. You don’t want to pause on the freeway, but usually pause, pull over, and not engaged in road rage or work rage or anything.

Instead, just realize this might be an accumulation of a long week or maybe I’m hungry or tired. The old HALTS acronym. Am I hungry? Am I angry? Am I tired? Am I lonely? Am I stressed? Am I all of these things? HALTS is hunger, anger lonely, tired, and stressed. You go through that checklist and if you’re ticking off any of them then it’s nice, if you can, to take a pause. The more you check off, the more likely you are to be in a place where burnout if you’re chronically in that state of being hungry, angry, lonely, tired, and stressed. Burnout is going to come very quickly.

I’d like to point out and I know you’ve already know this with your training and your background. There’s a huge difference between stressed and burned out. A lot of people come and say, “I’m so burned out.” What they’re saying is, “I am very stressed and I am burning out.” It’s, “I’m not burned out,” because if you’re burned out, you’re going on disability for six months. That’s true burnout. Mental and emotional complete exhaustion, where you can only lay in a field of poppies or lavender in your case, or lay on the beach, or sit on a farm and look at the birds in the trees. That’s burnout, but we don’t want people to get to that point.

If we look at burnout in, say shades or degrees, as you’re saying, getting there and stress is a big factor and it’s the chronic stress the lead in. I have seen people who I would qualify for being burned out and they are still chugging along. They might not be making good decisions. They might be a bit out of it at times, but because that push to show up at work and bring home that check. I’ve had people explain it. It’s like I’m the walking dead and that is the idea you’re explaining of they’re in the field or they’re there.

We all see this a lot in the medical community, where there are people who get sober now, especially after a big crisis like COVID or natural disasters. They’re chugging along, but they’re not present. It’s important to see that at least for this show as a continuum that we get closer to that place where it is as though, I had one person described it as a car crash. They were hit by a car crash overnight. It felt overnight. They aren’t able to see at the time. It was a progression to that point where they were debilitated.

The Importance Of Connection & Support

They were not staying aware throughout the period. That’s why daily check-ins with ourselves is so important or if you have a loved one or a best friend at work, where you can go for coffee and say, “How are you doing? How are you feeling?” Many years ago, I was a tech recruiter working from home all alone and I had a circle of recruiter friends. All of our work was on the phone long before email or internet.

Every morning, I would spend the first 30 minutes of my day checking in with a couple of these different friends. “How are you doing? How is your work flow? Do you have any problems? How are you feeling?” We would do this quick little daily check-in 5 or 10 minute conversation with a couple of people and it gave me the wonderful way to start my day.

Thank you for that. That is a good tip because you’re talking about connection. The power of connection and support. Going back for a moment to your story about the gift card. In a very small way, you connected with that clerk at the store, you checked in, you got their support, they went and helped you. Doing that with a group of coworkers or friends every day, that check in, that how are you or how are you doing. You’re connecting with another person and when they ask you how are you doing, especially if you’re working on self-awareness instead of the obligatory, I’m fine or I’m good.

You would then dig in and say, “I’m feeling a bit challenged or weary or I’m doing well because my boss allowed me to work from home one day a week or whatever else.” Your focusing on what’s working and trying to do more of that. You’re also talking about what’s not working. Maybe would you say trying to get ideas of what you could do to shift what’s not working?

Especially if it’s a personal issue or a business issue. I’m having this problem with this client. They don’t want to budge. What suggestions do you have? We’re alone in a vacuum but work problem sometimes require a perspective outside ourselves so we can see the big picture.

It’s also, Janice, not just at work. For those who are reading who might be a stay-at-home parent. This applies to you, too. We can’t see often outside of our heads. Even it’s well-trained therapist like me. I can’t often. Sometimes, I need to speak to someone else who can give me a different perspective. Someone I trust. Why? It’s because we’re not omniscient. Being able to talk to again, always someone you trust. Maybe a trained psychotherapist, a trusted family member or partner or a mentor at work so that you don’t have to listen to what other people might offer as feedback.

I love this part about humanity. Sometimes, just us being able to voice our concerns when we hear ourselves talking to someone else. Sometimes those light bulbs go on. It’s like, “My perfectionistic streak is at work here. It’s keeping me going twenty times longer and then I’m mad at the boss for not knowing that I went overboard and dotted every Is and crossed every T and the boss didn’t notice because that wasn’t what the boss needed.” Sometimes, it’s our perfectionism that is causing us to do that. Things like that, that someone that you trust can reflect it back to you. You’re talking about having some ongoing source of support.

You brought something up that opens up another can of worms and I talk to all day. The boss cannot read your mind. The person that wrote in is 27 and commuting two hours each way. You’ve brought up a few things. Number one is negotiating working from home 1 or 2 days a week is maybe a possibility. Communicating with the boss about what’s going on with you because some bosses, and I had one at one company. I won’t mention. She assumed because I was such a strong person and had such a big personality that I was always okay.

It’s because I had this outward facade of being happy because I was so rambunctious and outgoing. That doesn’t mean I’m not feeling stress about my work from time to time. She never said to me, “How is it going? How are you doing? Do you need any resources? Do you need any help with any of your projects?” It was just business and business.

I agree with you that it is so important. I’m thinking of my last client, a younger individual. We were having the same discussion. She realized what one of her big concerns was. It came to her as we were talking. I said, “Why don’t you talk to this individual about what your experience?” She said, “I couldn’t do that.” I said, “Why not?” She came to realize, “I can.” She left our time together feeling ever so excited. It was interesting. It didn’t go into arm. She moved through her anxiety and got to a place of, “This is a great opportunity. I’m going to talk to this person and I’m going to see if I can facilitate change.”

Even though we prepared that this individual on the other end might not be receptive. We can’t count on someone else being receptive to our needs, but we can’t do everything in our power to be aware of our needs, voice our needs, and stand in our truth and if it’s something important to us. The person on the other side, be it a boss, coworker, or a partner or whatever it is. If they’re not able to meet a critical need, then it might be time to look at a pivot.

I was thinking that, too, but I also had another thought. There are other ways to find mentors in the workplace. Now, while we all hope that our immediate manager is our mentor and best coach. Not every manager is perfect. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses just like a parent. If your company has an employee resource group, getting involved with it and volunteering to help run the group gets you exposed to many more people.

Sometimes from that population, you can find a mentor to work with you. Maybe meet you for coffee once a week for fifteen minutes and say, “I’d love to pick your brain. I’d love to ask you some questions. Do you have some advice for navigating this situation?” Sometimes they can give you some feedback because maybe they know that boss better and have a deeper understanding of what it’s like to be a boss in that organization.

You’re talking here about bigger organizations who have employee resource groups and that type of wonderful support for employees. Yet for employees who don’t have that type of support, those who are in smaller companies, where the idea of an HR team. It’s human resources. What would you recommend for someone who is in a smaller company where they feel very much alone? They have co-workers, but maybe one boss.

What would you encourage them to do if they’re feeling stressed at work, heading toward that place of severe burnout? In this case, I don’t know what the size of the of the company is but we don’t know. Maybe it’s just twenty employees and no HR. What would you imagine someone can do in order to get support that can help them maybe stay in the company if that’s where they want to stay but change things up enough so that they’re not feeling so chronically stressed and burdened?

There’s a couple of things. I’m going to use the word mastermind, even though that’s not the exact right word. Form your own social club or mastermind group within the organization. Try to connect. First of all, we can talk all day about social connection and how valuable that is, but creating your own little family within the organization of people. This is not a pity party or a complainer’s party. This is more of a social support and constructive feedback.

Maybe the person needs to rethink their point of view, if they’re feeling too self-centered. That’s another issue. The point is to have people to support you. Now, if there’s nobody that you feel like you can trust because there has to be an element of trust. I highly recommend joining an association of your business work. Whether it’s accounting, architect, finance or HR. There are over, 60,000 associations in the United States.

I had no idea.

Most of them have a way. Some are bigger than others like for example, SHRM or the Society of Human Resource Management. It’s gigantic. Twenty thousand people go to the annual conference. I was lucky enough to speak there in 2024. Every organization has a way for people to get together and get to know each other. It could be monthly meetings and an annual in-person meeting. The monthly meetings can be in-person or on Zoom. Most of these associations want to help people connect with each other.

Again, thank you. It’s a great tip. Taking it in the workplace is wonderful resources. We’re talking about the power of support, the power of community and research shows us over and over again that at all ages having community and community you can trust, people who get you and you feel safe with them. For those who are not in an office environment or don’t have a company where there’s HR. Let’s say you’re a stay-at-home dad or a stay-at-home mom or your full-time job is caring for your dad with Alzheimer’s or something like that.

Remember, there is support out there. Whether through meetup groups or your local community center. If that feels like yet another task, maybe a best friend or a sibling can do some googling or research for you if it feels to overwhelming because that’s the other piece I’ve noticed. When people aren’t the very towards that far end of the stress continuum or the stress is snowballing and burnout is right there around the corner. It’s already starting to set in.

They’re often the ones who feel so depleted that the idea of googling something for themselves or finding a support group, they don’t have the energy for it. They’re the ones who need it most. That’s so normal. It’s so normal. It’s like the person who was in a car wreck. They need people to come in and help and support them. They can’t do it for themselves. We never ever want to be ashamed or feel guilty for that. We just want to realize that’s a beautiful part of being imperfect human beings.

There are many times in life when reaching out for support from others is the wisest thing we can do. For someone who is suffering and let’s say they can’t afford a psychologist or maybe a trip to their doctor if they have a doctor. Often, doctors GP or family physicians can be a great source of referrals or their staff will have referrals, so community centers or community hospitals. All of these places are such a wealth of information so that you don’t get to that place, as you’re talking about where you can’t move. You are so burning out that you are flat on your back.

Sometimes people mistake being depressed with being burned out. Depression can come with burnout but we also want to have someone do an evaluation so that we know what we’re facing. How are we doing? How was our check up with our physician? How is our body doing? Check in with, how’s the mind and the spirit. Doing these self-checks are a critical part of the self-care. Back to you. I wish we had so much more time to gather.

What are one or two more tips, Janice, that you could offer our readers, whether it’s a daily care routine or strategies in the office? We’ve covered so much looking within, at getting external resources and support. What else would you say other than all of the toolkits in your Banished Burnout Toolkit book? What else would you offer? only a few highlights.

Taking Control Of Your Career & Asking for Help

One thing that I didn’t learn until later in my career is how to take more control over my career. A younger person like your 27-year-old who’s commuting might not realize that it’s up to me to learn how to navigate my career. My particular boss may not be able or know how to help me navigate my career. That includes pushing back about commuting two hours or maybe pushing back about a work assignment. Maybe saying, “I love this work. What would help me and the company is having me work from home twice a week because we’re wasting all this mental, emotional and physical energy, having me commute.” Especially if she’s driving.

You didn’t say if she was driving or commuting on a train. If she’s on a train, there’s certain things she can do like read your show or her journaling or some calm daily reading that can help her set herself up for her day or watching a video that makes her happy. If she’s driving, then she can’t read but she can listen to audiobooks or other shows.

Anyway, my point is sometimes we have to learn that it’s on us. It’s on us to ask for a raise, to navigate our career, or to find a coach to say, what is the next step in my career and what should I be learning now to prepare myself to move to that next step? That might be your boss but it might be another mentor or it might be a mentor from a different company. It could be someone from your church or synagogue. It might not be someone in your direct realm at work.

There are unexpected resources out there, whether it’s a neighbor, the next house or apartment over or someone in your spiritual or religious community. A big piece is learning to ask for help and knowing that that’s not only okay. It’s part of being human. It’s what feeds us. It’s when we’re connected and when we can give support and receive support. It’s important part of many animal groups. You think that of elephants and chimpanzees. It’s important.

I appreciate that you brought up the part about the commute as well because there is a big difference for somebody who’s communing on a train where maybe they’re listening to all of these different shows and watching videos and reading a book. Yet for someone who’s driving, I do have to say in our area of the commute to say San Francisco, depending on the time of day. It’s gnarly and the stress that can be caused. You might not even hear if you’re listening to a show because your anger inside is so big. It’s like going over top of everything.

Realizing sometimes what you’re doing might be a deal-breaker. Sometimes the commute is a deal-breaker or the boss is a deal-breaker. Sometimes there’s something in that external dynamic and not your internal world. We do have to look and say, “Maybe it’s a well-paying job.” Maybe it is. Maybe it has a great forward momentum but you readers have the right and the responsibility to pause and ask yourself. If I’m doing everything I can in my internal world but the universe is telling me this is not a good fit. I’m not meant to be a salesperson or a doctor or a lawyer or a baker 20 miles away. Whatever it is that and realizing it is okay and a sign of courage and inner strength to evaluate that and start taking steps towards something that does feel good. What do you think about that, Janice?

Many things. You mention that feeling of anger while you’re driving from Sonoma County through the bridge. That feeling of frustration and anger is within your control. You can choose to be angry every day on your way to work or you can choose to fill your heart and mind with more pleasant thoughts. Not that you’re not valid in your thoughts but anger hurts you. It does not hurt your boss because your boss isn’t with you. It hurts you.

It’s okay to go to your boss and say, “I love this job. I’m learning so much and contributing so much. I love working with you. I just cannot handle this to our commute anymore. I’m not threatening but I’m here to tell you that we need to make some changes together. Together, we need to navigate a more doable situation because I’m feeling so stressed with the difficult commute and I have to drive. It’s just too difficult and let’s work something out together. Let’s find a win-win.” I sometimes throw that word out to let the other person know that a win-win takes this person and this person to make the win-win.

There is a time for negotiation like that and let’s hope that the boss steps up this if you love your job. There are times for someone, I can’t even imagine, two hours this direction and two hours that direction. That is four hours and I don’t know if this individual has kids, husband, wife, a boyfriend or girlfriend. I don’t know any of that but realizing cumulatively that’s in a five-day work week. That’s 20 hours that this person may be saying, “I want that twenty hours for self-care or I want that to spend with my friends or my family.”

Again, we’re going it back to where we began, the self-awareness. What do you need to do for you to minimize the stress and then make space so that you can begin to heal. Stress and ongoing stress causes chronic inflammation in the body, which leads to health issues. You’re such a wellness advocate, so I’m speaking to someone who is all about this. To our readers, remember your health is so important. Doing what you need to do to create a lifestyle, if at all possible. I know there are times. I’ve been there where I had to do what I had to do and I couldn’t see enough down the line to realize that.

Eventually, I did a segue and realizing that if you start making steps forward in another direction, if your current situation isn’t right for you to get support. Again, going back to that idea. If you’re the full-time family caregiver for, let’s say a mom or a dad who has Alzheimer’s, then get the siblings or other people on board. You can have boundaries. If you don’t have siblings and you’re the only one. Reach out to senior services. We can take all of these tips that you’ve given us and expand them to see that they will help us reduce stress and the stress that causes burn out. If we start with self-reflection and then action, slow but steady action to create a life that has more ease. What do you think about that, Janice?

Again about the person taking care of their elderly relative believe it or not, Medicare has a lot of free services that elderly person might qualify for based on their financial status. We don’t know till we ask. Alzheimer’s, and cancer and all these groups do have ways to get community support. If the siblings can’t or won’t get on board or they live in a different state, then reach outside your community.

Support. Janice, thank you so much for your wisdom, your energy, and your kindness. Where can our readers find you?

They can find me at JaniceLitvin.com and I have a free gift. Everyone is able to download this Banish Burnout Toolkit which is a workbook. It’s full of waste to help learn how to develop the pause, learn how to build yourself awareness and that free link is JaniceLitvin.com/resources-bookBBTs. BBT stands for Banish Burnout Toolkit.

Thank you. If you’re not watching the video, you didn’t get a chance to see the Banish Burnout Toolkit interior. It is not intimidating. There are even pictures to help us. I love pictures in books. It’s very user-friendly and very approachable. Thank you for that gift, Janice. Readers, download free. I’m so grateful.

Thank you so much. I so enjoyed our conversation.

You’re welcome. To our readers, thank you so much for joining us. I hope this show helps you and those you love for reduce burnout and find ways to move forward in much less stressed ways.

Important Links

• Janice Litvin
• Janice Litvin on LinkedIn
• Banish Burnout Academy
• https://janicelitvin.com/resources-bookbbt
• https://janicelitvin.com/blog-janice-litvin/
• NAME HelpLine
• Carla Marie Manly, PhD
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on Instagram
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on Twitter
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on Facebook
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on LinkedIn
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on YouTube
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on TikTok

About Janice Litvin

Janice Litvin is on a mission to help leaders and teams banish burnout in their organizations. She does this through keynote speeches, workshops, and extended coaching. The result: enhanced employee engagement, retention, productivity, and the bottom line. As an award-winning corporate wellness speaker, coach, and SHRM Recertification Provider, Janice wants to help as many people as possible take care of their mental health, specifically teaching them to manage stress to prevent burnout.

Janice also works with leaders and middle managers to ensure that their culture helps teams prevent burnout from the top down.

She has developed unique strategies to maximize engagement, retention and protect the bottom liine. Her unique methodologies are available through her two books: Banish Burnout Toolkit and Banish Organizational Burnout: 26 Tips for Managers.

What makes Janice unique is that in addition to 20 years as a technology recruiter, 10 years in Corporate IT and banking, and her study of psychology, she has overcome all the challenges she talks about in her presentations.

Janice served on the Workplace Wellness Committee of the American Heart Association and spoke on their behalf to San Francisco Bay Area organizations. She is a Past President of the National Speakers Association of Northern California (NSA NC), and a Recertification provider for SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management).

After forming Micro Search in 1983 to help clients learn how to manage their business using a desktop computer, she became a human resource executive technology recruiter in response to her Fortune 500 clients’ needs for technology talent. Over the next twenty years, clients included Charles Schwab, Oracle, The Gap, Computer Partners, Network Appliance, QuinStreet, Symantec, Vodafone, Chiron, TheraSense, Nokia, Borland, United States Army, Pacific Gas & Electric and Pacific Bell.

Janice has worked with a range of clients, including SHRM, American Bankers Association, Association of Inspectors General, Wellness Conference of Wichita, Defense Equal Opportunity Management Institute (DOD), American Staffing Association, Ohlone College STEM Women, Thermo Fisher Scientific, Guaranteed Rate, ASBO (Association of School Business Officials), CAL SAE (California Society of Association Executives), MEA Energy Association, Contra Costa County Bar Association, San Mateo High School District, Minnesota and California State SHRM Councils, City of College Park, MD, Rutgers University, and VOA (Volunteers of America).