Do you believe in soul contracts, past lives, manifesting, and the power of divine energy? Do you want to dip your toes into the realm beyond what the rational brain prescribes? As a psychologist and fellow human, I find it interesting to contemplate how we can decrease suffering and ease our human journey in ways that sometimes defy science. When we go beyond the rational mind, an array of windows and doors open – many of which bring us greater joy, peace, love, and fulfillment.

If you’d like to discover more about the healing power of the divine, join me and soul healer Audrey Hope for an uplifting journey into manifesting love and discovering your truest, best self. She is a renowned relationship expert, therapist, spiritual expert, certified addiction and trauma counselor, and clairvoyant psychic medium.

Topics discussed include soulmates, manifesting, soul contracts, twin flames, soul healing, self-care, self-love, self-esteem, energy work, psychics, past lives, karma, past life, divine energy, divine, genuine love, suffering, self-growth, self-development, inner work, self-work, dating, marriage, healing, empowerment, masculine, feminine, divine feminine, fairy tales, personal growth, and intimate relationships.

Please note that this episode may contain sensitive material; listener discretion is advised.

Emergency Assistance Note: If you or someone you know needs immediate support, please call your emergency services. In the US, 24/7 help is available by calling “911” or “988” (Suicide and Crisis Hotline). Support/informational links are in the show notes.

Connect with Dr. Carla Manly:

Website: https://www.drcarlamanly.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcarlamanly/

Twitter/X: https://www.twitter.com/drcarlamanly/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drcarlamanly

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carla-marie-manly-8682362b/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr_carlamanly_imperfect_love

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr_carla_manly

Books by Dr. Carla Manly:

Joy From Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend

Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships and Love Fearlessly

Aging Joyfully: A Woman’s Guide to Optimal Health, Relationships, and Fulfillment for Her 50s and Beyond

The Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached Relationships

Oracle decks by Dr. Carla Manly:

Etsy

Amazon

Connect with Audrey Hope:

Website: https://www.audreyhope.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theaudreyhope/

Twitter/X: https://x.com/theaudreyhope

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheAudreyHope

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/audreyhopesrealtv

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Looking for Your Soulmate? Discover How to Manifest True Love with Expert Audrey Hope

How to Heal Your Heart and Manifest Genuine Love

Do you believe in soul contracts, past lives, manifesting, and the power of divine energy? Do you want to dip your toes into the realm beyond what the rational brain prescribes? As a psychologist and fellow human, I find it interesting to contemplate how we can decrease suffering and ease our human journey in ways that sometimes defy science.

When we go beyond the rational mind, an array of windows and doors open, many of which bring us greater joy, love, peace, and fulfillment. If you’d like to discover more about the healing power of the divine, join me and soul healer Audrey Hope for an uplifting, empowering journey into manifesting love and discovering your truest, best self.

We’ll focus on this listener’s real-life question. “I’ve been dating a little bit over the past year with no success. I can’t get rid of the feeling that I lost out by leaving my former partner.We had something special. I think it was a soulmate or twin flame kind of connection, but I broke up with him because we have very different political opinions. How can I tell if I’m meant to be with him or if I’m just drawn to his memory because I haven’t found someone else?” With that issue as the focus of this episode, I’m Dr. Carla Marie Manly, and this is Imperfect Love. Please note. As this episode may contain sensitive information, listener discretion is advised.

I am joined by a fascinating guest, Audrey Hope. Audrey, it’s such a joy to have you with us. I’m so excited for this conversation.

I’m so happy to be here. I love your introduction. I’m so fascinated. I love to listen to it myself.

Relationship Expert Audrey Hope

Thank you. I can tell it’s going to be a wonderful episode. Before we get going, can you tell our audience a little bit about what makes you, you?

I was born with the name Hope, so I always knew that was something. I like to give hope to people. What I do is I say it’s a missing piece of the healing pie because it’s the soul, and that is beyond the rational mind, as you stated in the introduction. That means solving problems beyond what we’re used to, going into a higher map, and looking down, “Why is this happening? Why did I meet this person? What is going on from the level of the soul?” It’s been a fascinating journey because I was a pioneer in it, working with doctors and bringing that to where I work. I work in a rehab with all sorts of trauma, addiction, and all sorts of problems. To bring that level of healing has been a fascinating journey.

That is fabulous. How old were you when you knew that there was something beyond you, or maybe that you were being called into this special realm of soul healing?

People ask me that question a lot. I’m from Brooklyn, Queens, so it’s not like a thing they do there. They’re out playing punchball. In answer to the age, I was born knowing. I always say I was computer-chipped. I would listen to music, and I would know I’m here for a deep reason. It was always with me, and I always followed it. I always knew, following the yellow brick road, that I always had to evolve and become better at becoming authentic in myself, because the purpose was so high. I want to give enlightenment and happiness and end suffering to as many people as possible and as fast as possible.

What a beautiful mission. Do you see yourself as being someone who channels energy, an energy healer? Do you have special powers? What makes that part of you?

It’s like tapping in. I know that Einstein did it. Edison did it. Van Morrison does it when he talks about the music of the spheres. Even Da Vinci. You wonder how he got all those airplanes in that century. It’s tapping in. It’s an intuitive phone line. When everyone can do that, which is my goal, where I want to give everyone that phone line and that tapping in, then you get that sacred information, and then you get answers.

It’s my goal to help people get it themselves. It’s dangerous to listen to a teacher and a doctor. You must listen to yourself. I like to help people open up that channel. When you do that, all sorts of downloads. I’ll ask, and it’s been developed over the years, “What do I need to know about this person?” It’s not like I have a set thing that I do with clients. I open up, and it’s whatever comes, but it is a download. That means this life, past life, the other side, soul contracts, and all of it, but it’ll sometimes be a Brooklyn thing, “Get the heck over yourself. You’re a spoiled brat.”

Fair enough. Is there a difference between what you are talking about? I love how you create the image of this phone line. I’m seeing almost like this open channel from the self up into the ether kind of thing. Is there a difference in your mind between that and being a psychic?

I consider myself a psychic. I consider all of us psychic, especially as women. The thing is that you have to heal your issues. You have to be very disciplined and clear. If you have issues, then it will get in the way. As we heal, all of us, our traumas and our problems, we make way for the nakedness of the intuition. We get rid of the blocks. Michelangelo said, “Let me remove the stone.” That’s where the art is. The more we become free or the more freedom we have from our issues, the more intuitive we become.

Empowering Women And Boosting Self-Esteem

That makes perfect sense. When we don’t work with our issues, they truly cloud our vision. Using the idea of the artwork within a piece of rock or within a piece of marble, you have to free it, free yourself by doing the work. It makes perfect sense. I have another question. You said particularly women. Why particularly women?

I love this question because I started with women’s issues. When I worked in a clothing store, I couldn’t believe how unwell women were, like, “I’m not good enough. I’m not skinny enough. I’m not young enough.” That was one of my first jobs, to find clothes. By helping them, I started to hear how women were suffering from low self-esteem.

That’s how I started, and then it developed into everyone. Women are the Shekinah. Women are the light. You can see that in our world, they’re always trying to take down women. It says in the Vedas that the degree to which women are respected is the degree to which a society prospers. Women are matriarchs and goddesses. When they take our history, which is herstory, they take the spirituality. It is my goal and my dream to heal women one at a time, give them back themselves, and not allow this brainwashing that they’re second.

I’m getting chills. That’s beautifully said. I work with people of all genders, not just because I’m a woman, but because of a sole purpose. For the people of other genders out there, this episode is for you as well. I’m taking it more into the idea of the feminine archetype, which can be regardless of gender. When we have that beautiful feminine, the nurturing, the caring, the engendering of communication, togetherness, and community, there is so much healing for all of us in that space.

There is, at this time, a dominance of the masculine energy. Not that either is bad or good, but they’re out of balance. When we have that overdomination of the masculine energy, the combativeness, the fight, and the “ruin the earth to get whatever we want from it” kind of thing, we all end up suffering. Thank you for pointing that out and giving it some light. You mentioned a word that I’m not familiar with, Skehinah.

That’s the light within us. The enlightenment that is our natural birth is in the spine. It’s the Kundalini. It’s the light, and it’s known as a feminine energy. That’s what it is. Women are the light. This energy within us is available to all of us. When we make the energy in the spine rise up, we turn on our lights. That’s the secret of the ages, too. We all have it. It’s not a deserving. It’s an actual turning on of our lights. It’s known as a feminine energy.

Healing Yourself To Find Your Soulmate

Beautifully put. Thank you for taking the time to explain that. Kundalini, I’m familiar with, but Shekinah, I will now be able to add that to my vocabulary, so thank you. Looking at our listener’s question, there’s a use of some terms. I’d like you to clarify them for our readers because I know there’s so much confusion about those two terms. People will say, “My soulmate. My twin flame. The person I’m supposed to be with.” What would you say about terms like soulmate or twin flame? Do you see them as the same? Do you see them as different? What kind of power do they have over us?

We date, and we could sometimes marry our karma. We marry our issues. Going after a soulmate, that’s a whole other thing. That means the higher love, the best love for me. My question to your audience would be, “Are you willing to do all that it takes to have that kind of love?” because it takes longer. If we could draw it, it would be like the sunshine in your heart, and it would match the sunshine in your partner. It would be the same vibration.

To have a soulmate, you need to know you’re going to walk through the flames of fire. You have to heal everything and become your best self because the divinity in me salutes the divinity in you. It is a Law of Attraction. Let’s go to a New York version. You make a list. You’re like, “I want this. I want the man or the woman to respect me.” You must become it yourself. You must become your list. You must heal every issue and walk through those fires. In that authentic self of healing, you are then ready because you don’t need the person. You are ready to let go, surrender, and let the universe bring it to you.

It’s a beautiful question. “Is this my soulmate?” You have to let go. You have to know that it’s different than running around, going on all the dating sites, and being like, “I got to do it.” It’s more of taking care of yourself, loving yourself, not needing someone, burying yourself almost, letting go, and then letting the universe decide for you.

I do have a question about that. When you say completely heal yourself, 100% heal yourself is what my brain was hearing. I’m thinking, “That’s a tall order. I don’t know anybody who’s 100% healed.” As hard as I work on myself, I imagine that on the day I die, I am still going to be healing myself. That idea for many people may sound like, “I’ll never qualify to meet my soulmate because I have issues,” even though they’re working through trauma, working through this, or they come from my paradigm, which is that we are always evolving and always healing. What would you say to a question like that?

I love that. I apologize if I made that reference because we don’t want to think, “I’m not perfect.” I hate that. That’s not the correct way to say it, but it would be like you get to a point where you’ve taken care of your major issues. The major one is like, “I have this donut hole.” We have this donut hole. We’re like, “I want the man or the woman to fill it.” That is very dangerous because if you meet somebody in that and they leave you, you’ll want to die. We want to do the major foundation of the housework. It’s like Psychology 101, and then coast above it. When you marry someone, it’s alchemy. No matter how evolved you are, there’s still going to be a journey. The stages of love and alchemy are rough. It’s not a fairytale. It’s madness.

Understanding Twin Flames And Karmic Relationships

Agreed. It’s in those spaces of learning from each other that I continue to believe. Learning how to respond rather than react. Learning to continue to work on your issue if you get triggered. Having a partner who doesn’t jab your issues intentionally but helps you become stronger, and you help them. It’s one of the most beautiful elements of any close relationship, be it a love relationship, a best friendship, or a family relationship. To me, it’s a real privilege. Thank you for clarifying that piece. I have another question for you. We understand soulmates a little better. Let’s talk about twin flames. What are twin flames from your perspective?

From my perspective, they’re almost the same. Twin flames would be a little higher. There is a destiny to it, an Adam and Eve kind of thing. You were meant to come here and do something spectacular for the planet. It’s pretty similar to soulmates, which is someone that’s meant for you and helps you to become your best self and do your life’s work in the world.

Thank you. Let’s circle back to another term that you used. All of this will help the person who wrote in, but also the audience understand some of these terms, understand them through your lens, and also be able to see, “What is it perhaps in my life I’m dealing with?” We’re circling back to something you said, which is a karmic relationship. Let’s talk about karmic relationships.

It’s Shakespearean. It’s a theme where we feel very dramatic. It feels very familiar. We don’t need to be very spiritual. We could be New York in this, like, “Here it comes again. Here I go again. I’ve manifested the same kind of person. I feel the same.” When you are in that, you are in some kind of theme in your life. That is karma, what you are meant to heal. The world is a stage, and all the men and women are merely players. They have their exits and their entrances. That’s Shakespeare, which means people play parts for us as mirrors.

You look at it from the level of the soul. “What is this relationship mirroring for me to heal, and why does it feel so unbelievably familiar?” You can almost draw a circle, put yourself in it, and see all your relationships and what they do. That’s the fast version. You’ll get your karma because you’ll be like, “That happened with my father. Now it’s happening with my ex.” There it is, and you can track that. It feels very intense. That’s karma. The soul is here to heal that. When you know that, you don’t have to blame the other person. You could go, “That’s for me to heal it.”

I love the perspective of karma. I appreciate everything you’ve said. It fits into a lot of what I work with and a lot of what, quite frankly, I’ve seen in my life, especially earlier on, where you’re a bit blind and you’re bumbling around in relationships like, “How do I keep getting this kind of person? Why do I keep falling for this kind of person? Why does this person remind me of my dad or this other person?”

Putting this over the top, we don’t know enough about the individual who wrote in, but we might be able to imagine that for this listener, perhaps they do tend to pull back from relationships or leave a relationship where there’s a political difference or a big difference. Maybe that’s what the family did, where they’re like, “If you don’t have our political ideology, our religious beliefs, or whatever it is, you are on the outside.”

When we have different ideologies or perspectives, sometimes, instead of trying to find that joining space, the growth space, or more tolerance, we choose to exit. We can imagine that that might be taking place. We don’t know. Looking at karma and looking at this relationship, and seeing, “Maybe this is karma here,” what would you say?

You bring up something that’s a trend or cycle. What we’re in, in this time period, are interesting times. The new problem is politics. That is coming into relationships. I know in my practice, that’s a big deal, where it might not have been years ago. That, on its own, is a separate thing for the time period. We are in the golden age. We are in the age of Aquarius. That’s also another issue. Things are going to be tossing and turning. That’s what happens when you heal. You’ve got to go through it. At least we can see everything.

From a karmic point of view, I am thinking more of the one who wrote in, the woman, and her regrets. I see that as a thing to work on. She’s regretting. She’s doubting herself. I would go in on that, like, “Why are you regretting? Why can’t you trust your decision to leave and then open up to what’s best for you?” That’s what speaks to me about this question.

Why is the regret there? How would she or they be able to tell if it’s orienting them to go back to the relationship, work with the political differences, and be okay with the political differences? How would they determine if it’s best to pivot and move forward into something else?

Let go. Look at the self-doubt. Trust one’s self to know, “I left because I wanted to,” and then open that up, surrender into it, and then see what comes back. With this listener, there’s a fear of being alone. Maybe that’s a thing, too. They’re like, “Will I find someone else? Maybe I should have settled for that.” We never want to do that. It’s not a good thing for the Law of Attraction to settle for something.

I would work with some other issues around this question and clean it up a little bit, like you need to honor yourself that you left this person. You need to honor that you have these political ideas. We need to look a little bit at your fears and what you’re afraid of, do some healing on that, and then open to the surrender and start again. See if this person comes back.

Overcoming Your Relationship Fears

I love how you said to look at the fears because often, we run from our fears rather than looking at them. That was my dissertation. It was my first book. It was about how to create joy from looking at your fears. We can imagine perhaps that the person who wrote in, and many people, maybe they’re one primary fear would be, “I should stay with this person because there’s no one else. I should go back to this person because there’s no one else.” That might bring up other fears, like, “I’m not worthy of finding someone with whom I align.”

I’m not saying that I believe that political differences can’t coexist. I believe they can. I believe that if people respect each other’s political differences and respect the person as a whole, we can live with religious and political differences. I don’t need somebody to be an exact mirror image of me. I need them to be respectful of me, what’s important to me, and what I believe to be important for the greater world, which is generally more love and more respect.

Going back to the question, what if this person were to work with their fears and say, “I’m okay with the political differences. I came to that conclusion. I was afraid to be accepting of their perspective and accepting of their way of being.” We don’t know what the difference is. We have no idea. Would that help them figure out if this individual is their soulmate?

I would do what I do with my clients. I’ve helped a lot of people find their soulmates. To whoever you pray to, you say, “Show me the way. I’m going to let a higher matchmaker bring me my love. I’m going to surrender it to that, and then I will see what comes.” I put everything into a system. After twenty years of trying to figure it out, I’ve put it in a system. Heal your issues, become your best self, surrender, and then ask higher matchmakers to bring it in for you.

I have seen incredible miracles with that because it’s an energy that brings us our soulmate. It’s not a rational thing. It’s an energy that comes, which is fascinating, how it comes. That’s how I met my husband. I did that, surrendered, and then flukishly heard a voice that said, “Go on PlentyOfFish.com.” That’s where I met him. How do you rationalize that? I’ve worked with my clients on it. You are here, and somebody from Texas comes in. All of a sudden, you’re with them. There is a magnetic force when you clear the deck.

Thank you. I appreciate how you focus on doing your work. Many people believe, “I was divorced. I left my long-term relationship yesterday. I have gone from guy to guy or a girl to whoever. If I put myself out there, I will find the right one. I read a book on manifesting, and it will come my way,” but they don’t do the inner work.

I appreciate how you focus on not that we’re going to be perfect. Here’s one of the places you started from that I didn’t applaud, and I want to applaud now. It was how you focused on that piece of, if you have this list of what you want the other partner to bring, whether it be kindness, respect, loyalty, or compassion, create those qualities within yourself. Become that person.

That’s often undervalued or not even seen because we have this list of who we want. We want them to give us this, give us that, be this, and be that. Yet, we may have never been to a psychotherapist. We may have never meditated and worked on what I call polishing the stone of who we are. There’s a lot of polishing for us to do.

Trusting And Listening To Your Instincts

Another thing is listening to yourself, like listening to your instincts. They’re always there, and they’re there at the beginning. Some people call it red flags. I worked with this one client. I worked with her through her divorce. She had a date. She had this date with this guy, and I said, “It sounds like he’s the exact same guy as your ex.” She goes, “Yeah, but he’s so cute.” He was in the music business, and she was in the music business. I said, “This is what we’re going to do. Call him up and break the date. Break it. Don’t see him because it is the same. You know it.” She knew it.

That week, she went on a plane to Croatia and met the guy that she’s with now. She ended the issue, and she listened to the truth that it was the same. She knew it, and he was going to do it anyway, but someone was there to stop her. She then said, “No, I’m not doing that.” No is a great word when you want to date. You’re like, “No, I’m not doing this again.”

I love no, and I love pause, because if we press pause, it gives us time to reflect, time to journal, and time to sort things out. I was working with a client who was talking about a dating thing. The individual was on a date. Somebody in their life was on a date. The person they were on the date with is in training to become a commercial pilot.

The woman said to the guy, “I’ve heard that pilots always cheat on their partners.” The guy said, “I don’t know. We’ll have to see.” The individual, the woman, was like, “I don’t need to follow up on this.” Her instinct was very strong. It was a blunt question. I find it a great question. It got straight to a concern that she was checking, “Are you going to be a faithful partner?” If he had any questions, it’s like, “We’ll have to wait and see.” It is good to close the door. It is good to lock it behind you as well.

When we follow our gut instinct, we take note of a red flag, as this individual did notice the red flag. Think about it if you want. Journal about it. Notice that in this world, we’re told so much, “Be rational. Don’t pay attention to what your gut is telling you. Use your logical mind.” Our gut has so much information to tell us. There is so much there if we pause to listen and pay attention. What do you think? I find that the gut instinct, unless there’s an emergency, like the karma is about to do this, in this case, is like a big noise, but often, our gut is very quiet. It’s like a whisper, like, “Be careful here.”

It’s called the still, small voice from within. It’s there, but we’re always distracted from listening. When you teach someone to listen, they could even tell why they get sick. We could be our own doctors in a way because our body is trying to tell us something. We have to learn to listen.

Why You Should Take A Pause

Let’s pause here for a second. This is not particularly for the listener’s question. For many people, they’re so busy. They’re on a metaphorical treadmill every day, running, TikToking, Instagramming, thinking, searching, and zoning out on whatever TV show. They’re not pausing to go within. They don’t even know what that means. What would you say? There’s no judgment here, but I also believe that many people, when that voice starts coming up, self-soothe. They bring substances on board of all sorts and behaviors of all sorts, so that they are tuning out what is a very helpful inner voice.

The universe will step in and give you a little accident. Something will break. If the universe wants you to know something, it’ll give you a love tap, and then it’ll get harder. When my clients have car accidents, I’m like, “What a wake-up call.” The universe is always giving it to us if we’re not listening until eventually, we go, “I give up. I’m listening now.”

The woman who’d had a truck hit her, my client, I’m like, “You’re with an abusive man. The truck had to come in.” This is a living universe. Pay attention. Pay attention to animals. Pay attention, like, “A coyote came to my window the other day.” The animal kingdom is sacred. Be alive in it and watch what comes out of the blue. That’s the universe talking to you. The sense of quiet, I would say nature. What a religion nature is. Walk outside. Do not take your phone and quietly walk for even twenty minutes.

I am an avid nature-lover and walk every morning. I know I’m prone to tune in to my show, but I do carve out the first mile of my morning walk to have nothing in my ears. My breath and the sound of nature. That’s it. When we learn to do that, not only do we fall in love with silence and the sounds of nature, which certainly aren’t silent, but we also do what you are saying. We notice. We notice how our body feels. We notice where the tightness is. Little messages come to us, like, “Let’s think about this. Let’s do this. Let’s not think about anything at all. Let’s just be.”

When we are in that space and turning it back to the question of the day, the individual may find an upwelling of information when she’s in there in this quiet space. Who knows what it’ll say? It could be, “Don’t date right now. Go to this art class. Take a walk over here. Think about this.” Often, and I’ve seen this, when people get into serial dating, a lot is going on. Our instinct can get easily muffled because there are too many personalities in the room and in our heads. What do you think of that?

You’re talking about energy, which is also part of soul healing. For example, if you leave a relationship and you sign the divorce papers, that’s great, but energetically, you are still tied to that person. If you don’t cut that cord and do it energetically, they’re still going to be following you. Even if someone passes away, they’re still following you.

One of the things I do in my healing is to look at those cords and cut them because they need to be cut on an energetic level. Even in feng shui, they say, “Be alone.” It’s the word all one. You’re alone. You’re an empty space. Empty space is a launching pad. They say throw out the ex’s stuff and clear your space because that alone sacred space is very important when you want to manifest a new life and a new love. Energetically, we have to heal, too.

I agree with you. I was having this conversation with someone about the importance of when we have ended a relationship, not out of malice, anger, or anything negative, but clearing out our energetic space. It’s not just the energy and not just saging everything, but they’ll have reminders, old photographs, this tucked here, or that tucked here. Every time we see it, even if we don’t realize we’re seeing it, or touch it, or walk by it, we’re getting that energy.

It was interesting. The person I was talking to said, “Should I even get rid of the expensive things?” I said, “I can’t tell you what to get rid of or not get rid of, but I know in my life I love passing things on, whether it was from a former partner or something that I no longer use, and giving it a new life where that energy can be and have a different purpose rather than something that’s holding me down.”

Also, inside to find the cord. Where is that attachment to the trauma also? I’ve never had anybody not be able to find the cord where they’re attached and then look at that. Sometimes, they’ll see a hook. Sometimes, they’ll see a rope. Talk to this person and say, “I’m ready now to cut this cord. What do I need to say to you?” Energetically, you are making sure that in the invisible realm, you’re not attached.

For the audience, if you’re thinking, “What are you two talking about? What’s this invisible realm?” Think about it. You can be on a walk with someone in a restaurant or a shopping area, and you feel someone’s eyes on you, and you turn. How did you know their eyes were on you? There is this invisible energy. How do you know that when you’re hiking and you sense that there’s a bird up in the tree? You didn’t hear a noise, but you turn and look, and there’s an owl staring at you. How do you know this? It’s because we have these beautiful powers when we open up.

Sometimes, it’s anxiety, and sometimes, it’s stress because we took too much luggage. Especially as women, we’re holding the karma or the energy of someone else, and we’ve taken on too much baggage. That’s a very big thing with anxiety and stress to look at what people took on and make sure we don’t go to school for someone. We wouldn’t go to school for our own child. We cannot fix people and save them. We must make sure you have your luggage and I have mine. I am not taking yours. You do it, and I’ll do mine.

Energetically, with anxiety and stress, you’re very sensitive. You’re an empath. You took on the energy of your parent when you were very young. You realized, because you’re so wise, “This is not going to go very well. I’d better save my parent. I’d better become a caregiver. I’d better do something because I’m not going to get my needs met.” That’s an energy thing that you need to go back to the soul wound when they were little, the primal wound, and cut it energetically.

I appreciate so much what you are saying, because it’s another way. It’s not something you’re taught in a doctorate program, but a lot of it is very intuitive, and I’m going to circle back to the litener’s question again, where there is often this belief that as women, we have a partner who will make us whole. The idea comes from the Cinderella fairy tale. I’m not saying that this is what the listener was meaning, but there’s this sense of, “This is my soulmate. This is my other half and my twin flame. I will find this person of whatever gender, and I will be whole. I will live happily ever after.”

Yet, the origins of that fairytale were about this person, any individual of whatever gender, meeting their male half and their female half. It is their energy coming together to find that divine feminine and the divine masculine, the nurturing, and the power, and bringing them together. When you do that, you live happily ever after. You become whole. You go out and you’re never perfect, but you’re this beautiful whole self that’s always polishing, always working, always having fun with it, and being patient with that process. As you’re rolling along, bouncing along, or whatever you are doing, you find the other part.

If we bring it full circle back to our listener, perhaps we can’t tell them what to do, but I’m pretty much restating what you said at the beginning. Look at taking a break. Look at just being yourself, working on yourself, looking at becoming a little more whole, and falling in love with yourself. Some people are going to be saying, “I don’t even know who I am.” You have a nice little journey there to become more of your whole self, never perfect. I keep stressing that. That’s why the show is called Imperfect Love, because we’re never perfect.

Whoever is meant to come to them, if someone is meant to come to them, because sometimes, we’re meant to travel solo in this life, if that feels right to us. We don’t want to travel with someone who’s not right for us, someone who causes us pain, discomfort, or those things. Not that relationships don’t have pain in them, but we don’t want a partner who is purposefully causing us pain. What do you think of that idea of the masculine and the feminine? Does that comport with what you are saying?

Absolutely. We need that balance in the world and individually. That’s the whole problem. Take the masculine trying to take over this beautiful energy. We’re constantly, through the ages, having to fight. We need to help women look at themselves and get their self-esteem back, and then we’ll be okay. Once women take back their self-esteem, the whole planet will rebalance.

It sounds like a big task, yet one step at a time, by being true to ourselves, working on loving ourselves, knowing ourselves, and accepting ourselves. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we have to stay in one form. It simply means like a flower accepts itself. It’s not trying to be a bird, but it still grows, evolves, blossoms, and goes through its phases.

That’s such a beautiful image for the audience, realizing we can accept ourselves as we grow and as we strive to be filled with more love, respect, empathy, compassion, self-care, and all of these beautiful things that will then help us because you are more in tune with yourself and more in love with yourself. Find a partner who will love you in the same way.

If you don’t have self-esteem, pause and wait. Stop the dating sites. Stop everything and truly work on your self-esteem because that’s the jewel right here. When you have that self-love, it helps in your career, in inner peace, and in relationships.

Defining Self-Esteem

As we prepare to wind up, I have one more question to put a little bow on this. Feel free to add anything else. In every book I’ve written, all four of them, I define self-esteem and differentiate it from self-confidence. Could you, in your own words, share what you believe self-esteem is?

It’s understanding the soul, which is the little flame in the heart that cannot be extinguished. It’s getting in touch with that sunlight in the heart, paying attention to that beautiful shining light, and honoring it. You’re like, “I am the light.” It’s seeing that flame, knowing no one can take it, and making sure we pay attention to it and make it grow a little bigger. It’s the light within. Especially now in this world, if you are aligned with that, you can navigate through some hard times.

That is so beautifully said. I love how you help us see it as light. When you get in touch with your inner light, you’re not trying to be anyone else. You’re trying to be your best self. You’re not questioning who you are, how valuable you are, and how worthy you are because you know in your core, “I am good. I am lovable, I am worthy. I am strong. I am not perfect, and I don’t need to be perfect to be loved.”

Amen.

You are such a treasure.

You are a treasure. I love this.

Thank you so much. Where can our audience find you?

My website, AudreyHope.com, but also on Instagram @TheAudreyHope.

Thank you for being with us. I am so grateful.

Keep up the great work. You are so divine.

As are you. Thank you to our readers for being with us. It is always such a joy and a privilege to walk through this lovely journey of life with you. This is Imperfect Love.

Important Links

• Audrey Hope
• Audrey Hope on Instagram
• Audrey Hope on YouTube
• Audrey Hope on Facebook
• About – Audrey Hope Spiritual Healer
• Book a Consultation with Audrey Hope Intuitive Soul Healer
• Plenty Of Fish
• NAMI HelpLine
• Carla Marie Manly, PhD
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on Instagram
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on X
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on Facebook
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on LinkedIn
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on YouTube
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on TikTok

About Audrey Hope

Audrey Hope is an award-winning certified addiction and trauma counselor. She holds a Master of Divinity and Meta-Physics, as well as a Resident Addiction Specialist (RAS) certification. Audrey uses her abilities as a clairvoyant psychic medium to heal patients from trauma from abusive relationships, domestic violence, and more.

A multi-talented force in the healing arts for over 20 years, Audrey Hope uses her revolutionary healing techniques to get to the “root of the root” of various problems with addiction, trauma, and relationships. Her spiritual modalities guide patients to a new frontier in healing to achieve inner peace. Audrey believes that one must go beyond the rational mind and the traditional boundaries of therapy to inspire real transformation.

Audrey uses her expertise to help all individuals – singles, couples, and parents who may be dealing with marital problems to heal and manifest successful relationships. To Audrey, relationships are a science, she believes that once one heals what is needed, they can pave the way for success in life and love. Audrey provides tools and practical solutions to extinguish negative patterns and beliefs so everyone can accomplish their search for happiness.

Audrey currently works at renowned rehabilitation treatment center Seasons in Malibu, as well as, holds her own practice in the heart of Brentwood, CA. She is the host of her weekly award winning, YouTube advice show “Hope For Relationships.” After seeing firsthand the suffering that women experienced around their bodies and place in society, Audrey created, produced, and hosted the international show titled “Real Women” which won her three Telly Awards, a Women of Wealth Award, and a Governor Award. Additionally, you may recognize Audrey from the internationally acclaimed reality show Rehab (Endemol) which brought 8 celebrities from the UK, including glamour model Alicia Doubal, Bay City Roller Les McKeown, and more to the United States for addiction and trauma treatment.

Throughout two decades in her field, Audrey has worked with an abundance of celebrities, producers, CEOs, doctors, lawyers, authors, athletes, heirs, and more – helping them cope with their relationship and/or addiction problems. Audrey aims to heal all problems, whether they be surrounding one’s relationship, addiction, or trauma, from the deep level of the soul.

Featured for both her expertise in love and relationships, as well as her knowledge in trauma healing, Audrey has been seen in top-tier media like CBS, E! News, Fox News, MSN, IHeartRadio, Reader’s Digest, Medical Daily, Glamour, Bustle, Livestrong, Redbook, Elite Daily, Popsugar, Shape Magazine and much more.