Anxiety lives in our bodies and minds, and its main function is to steer us clear of danger. But in today’s chaotic and uncertain world, it’s easy for anxiety to grab hold in strange ways and not let go. Many people of all ages are experiencing more anxiety than ever, and this anxiety can easily turn into panic. And if you’ve been in the clutches of a panic attack, you know it’s a deeply terrifying experience that can dramatically change how you see yourself and your life. Yet it’s possible to retrain your mind and body to have a new, healthy relationship with anxiety by learning to listen to–rather than fight or ignore–what your body is trying to tell you. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Nicole Cain, physician and anxiety expert, who will offer practical insights and tips for getting to the root causes of your anxiety so you can truly heal.

Please note that this episode contains sensitive material; listener discretion is advised.

Emergency Assistance Note: If you or someone you know needs immediate support, please call your emergency services. In the US, 24/7 help is available by calling “911,” “988” (Suicide and Crisis Hotline), or SAMSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). Support/informational links are in the show notes.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: No expert is offering medical or psychological direction or advice; the content is purely informational in nature. Please consult your physician or healthcare provider before undertaking any new regimen or procedure.

Books by Dr. Carla Manly:

Joy From Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend

Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships and Love Fearlessly

Aging Joyfully: A Woman’s Guide to Optimal Health, Relationships, and Fulfillment for Her 50s and Beyond

The Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached Relationships

Oracle decks by Dr. Carla Manly:

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Tame Anxiety and Panic Proof Your Life! with Expert Dr. Nicole Cain

How to Tame Anxiety and Panic Proof Your Life!

Anxiety Unveiled: Understanding Panic Attacks

Anxiety lives in our bodies and minds, and its main function is to steer us clear of danger. In today’s chaotic and uncertain world, it’s easy for anxiety to grab hold in strange ways and not let go. Many people of all ages are experiencing more anxiety than ever before, and this anxiety can easily turn into panic. If you’ve been in the clutches of a panic attack, you know it’s a deeply terrifying experience that can dramatically change how you see yourself and your life. Yet, it’s possible to retrain your mind and body to have a new, healthy relationship with anxiety by learning to listen to rather than fight or ignore what your body is trying to tell you.

I’m joined by Dr. Nicole Cain, who will offer practical insights and tips for getting to the root causes of your anxiety so you can truly heal. We’ll focus on this litener’s real-life question. “My job takes me all over, so I’m constantly flying somewhere. Out of the blue, I started having panic attacks on flights. The first time, I thought I was having a heart attack. Nothing is new in my life that explains this. There are no health scares or work issues. The only thing is that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me, but I can’t imagine this causing flight anxiety and panic attacks. For now, I’m using anti-anxiety meds, but I don’t like depending on pills. Do you have any suggestions?” With that issue as the focus of this episode, I’m Dr. Carla Marie Manly, and this is Imperfect Love. Please note that as this episode may contain sensitive information, reader discretion is advised.

I am joined by a tremendous guest, Dr. Nicole Cain. Dr. Nicole is a physician, author, and the founder of the Holistic Wellness Collective. Welcome to the show, Dr. Nicole. It’s such a joy to have you with us.

Thank you. I am delighted. I so honor your work, and I’m grateful to get to talk about this beautiful and important topic with your audience.

Thank you for joining us. I so appreciate you and the work that you do. If you’re watching on YouTube, you can see a glimpse of Dr. Nicole’s book. It’s called Panic Proof: The New Holistic Solution to End Your Anxiety Forever. It is a beautiful, extremely well-written book, and so user-friendly. I like how it invites you into the book and invites you to look at anxiety on a deeply personal level. Thank you for bringing this book to the world.

It was a labor of love. As a fellow writer yourself, I don’t know if you resonate with this. Sometimes, we write the books that we desperately needed. That was this book for me. Many years ago, I needed this book. I needed this hope. I needed this resource, and it didn’t exist. This is the book. This is the process of facing anxiety from rock bottom, terror, panic, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, seeing what it’s like to be on the other side, and sharing that with you. I’m grateful to get to talk about it.

Unpacking Dr. Cain’s Journey: From Stoic Roots to Healing Insights

Thank you for sharing that. Before we launch into this specific question, do you mind telling our audience and me a little bit about what makes you, you?

I came into the world, and I feel like it didn’t quite make sense. In the family that I was born into, I was always different. For those who are reading, if you feel like, “I don’t know who I am. I rely on what the world has told me who I am to be,” perhaps this may be a gift. This journey of anxiety may be a process of unwinding that and discovering your true self.

As I went through my life, I felt different. I came from a Midwestern family. My dad was a Marine. My mom’s side of the family was very Dutch and stoic. Then enters this little blonde girl with lots of big feelings and lots of excitement. I was a lot for them. In the stress in the household and the rigidity, I found that I was attuned to that. I wanted to help them. I wanted to make them joyful. I wanted to calm their ire.

This little spark that came into the world learned and adapted to our experiences. It’s almost like putting on a teeny little sweater for your teeny little body. You knit that sweater moment by moment. This is the process of adaptation or coping. As I got older, I found that the little sweater was getting too tight. It became tighter. Those adaptive mechanisms of being hyper aware, hyper attuned, and trying to feel in control of making other people feel happy and calm were creating a lot of stress and suffering for me.

In medical school, I had this teacher. He once turned to me and said, “Dr. Cain, do you know one thing I love about you?” I said, “I’m a people pleaser. What is it? I need to know so I can do all of it.” He said, “You never say no. You always say yes to everything.” For a moment, I was like, “I don’t think that’s a good thing.”

That yes pattern, this process of continually pushing myself, perhaps maybe even denying my true self, and saying yes to what I thought would make other people love me, appreciate me, respect me, and care for me, ended up being the same pathway that drove me towards anxiety. That feeling got bigger until I couldn’t handle it anymore. That’s a little bit of the origin story. I wonder if that might resonate with the listener who wrote in their question.

Shared Journeys: Finding Your Authentic Self

What a beautiful and vulnerable story. Thank you for sharing that. Circling back to what you had started with when you were writing a book, whether it’s a book, a field you find yourself in, or a song you are writing, it is so true. It resonated with me that every book I have written, all four of them, starting with Joy From Fear, was part of my journey. I feel a very kindred sense with you. Many things that you are saying resonate with me. I did not feel at home in my family either. I was different from the rest of them.

It is finding your way and the anxiety it causes when you don’t fit into your family of origin. Many people find that they don’t. I love how you trace the anxiety often back to that. We learn in our very early childhood that we need to move left and right, stay centered, or be like, “I need to take a step back.” In my case, there were ten kids and two parents. You can imagine trying to make eleven other people happy, or at least stay small, or whatever it is.

No matter the size of their family, that anxiety often gets rooted in their early life. We are trained to walk the path that the family supports. If we deviate or color outside the lines, then anxiety often starts coming up. Whereas in a less rigid family, as you used the word rigid, you learn, “I can color outside the lines. I can be myself. Everything will be okay. I might trip and fall, but I’ll learn and I’ll get up.”

You shared a story from when you were in medical school. I remember when I was in doctoral school to be a clinical psychologist. I was talking to one of my professors. I told him I was very sad about something. I said, “I made this mistake and I can’t forgive myself.” He looked at me and said, “Who are you not to forgive yourself?” I’d never thought of it that way. I thought, “Oh my goodness.” I felt this load drop off of me, like, “I don’t need to be perfect. I can forgive myself. I’m human like everybody else.” It’s interesting that we each have these foundational stories. I will never forget that professor. He was amazing. These parent-like figures, these wise figures, can pop into our lives.

At least for me, because I can’t speak for you, I feel at my best when in just one person, I see that light go on for them. They turn the light on. I just happen to say something that resonates with them, and they go, “Oh.” You can see that same joy, the flicker of joy. You can see the burden shift from their shoulders. Thank you for leading us in that direction. It’s such a beautiful way to start.

I love that. I love your story. It feels very much like that origin spark. Something was covering her origin spark. He’s like, “Why? Who are you to cover that?” Suddenly, that burden is lifted. There’s that breath, that look on your face, and the sigh that I see as you come more into yourself. When we think about anxiety, it can feel like, “It isn’t me.” It can feel like, “It’s against me.” People often talk about, “I feel like my body is broken. My mind is broken. There’s something wrong with me.”

I would talk to you about suggesting, perhaps, maybe it’s a gift. Perhaps it’s here to talk to you. Perhaps it’s here to whisper, “Who are you to hide yourself? Who are you to always say yes?” and whatever it is that’s a part of your story. We can be witnessed, and we can use that witnessing to be truly free. Not just okay, but truly free. One of my favorite writers is Samuel Hahnemann. He talks about the goal of the doctor is to help a person achieve such heights of health and wellness that those looking on are obliged to be in wonderment. That’s what you’re talking about. It’s that wonderment.

What a beautiful way to look at it. When we think of panic and anxiety, low-level anxiety is helpful. It gets us out of bed, it makes us dot our Is, cross our Ts, turn in assignments, get a paycheck, and all those things. Yet, especially in this world, the external pressures to perform to be on top of things. I was talking to someone. He looked at his watch, and I saw words on his watch. I said, “Excuse me. Your watch is not telling time. It’s giving you words.” He says, “I even get emails on my watch.” I thought, “If I had emails coming in on my watch.”

Think of that pressure to be on all of the time. This person said, “I get them on my phone or my computer, but when I’m away from my phone or my computer, I get them here.” I thought, “What a lot of stress.” For our audience, I don’t know what their life is like, but flying is no easy feat in today’s world at all. We’re aware of planes crashing, air turbulence, and all sorts of contagious viruses when we’re flying, so it’s not an easy feat. To do it as part of one’s living constantly, which I don’t know if this person is going around the world or cross country, still, that alone can be somewhat anxiety-inducing.

I love your idea of looking at anxiety as a gift. You and I are aligned with that. I mentioned my first book, Joy From Fear, where I talk about how you can learn to look at anxiety as being helpful. There’s an unhelpful side, but there’s a helpful side. It is teasing those two apart. In your paradigm, I love how you take it deep into questioning, looking at the body, and making ourselves panic-proof. I love that you didn’t say anxiety-proof. You’re saying panic-proof because we need some anxiety. Panic, generally, doesn’t surface.

Defining Anxiety & Panic: The Green, Yellow, Red Zones

Maybe it would be helpful for some readers if we defined these words that we’re using. I could perhaps provide a little bit of context when I use these words and what I mean. Would that be all right?

Please do. I love starting with nice, clear definitions.

When we evolved, our brains evolved to keep us safe. Our brain doesn’t necessarily care about our well-being. It cares about our safety. When there’s true danger, those whose bodies, minds, and nervous systems were able to mount a response and get away from that danger, whether by fighting the danger, freezing so maybe they wouldn’t see you, fleeing, or passing out, we call this the fight, flight, freeze, flop, fawn, fracture response. When we have those appropriate biological responses, when we experience that fear in true danger, that’s life-saving.

Anxiety, on the other hand, I would look at a little bit more of the nuance of when we experience that same biological fear response outside of the context of actual danger. With that, we may experience a sense of disempowerment. It’s like, “I feel out of control. I feel like my body is out to get me, or my mind is broken. There’s something wrong with me.” It’s this very natural, evolutionary, favorable, beautiful, and brilliant response out of the context of actual danger.

When we look at anxiety, we can put it on a spectrum. On one end of the spectrum is what I call the green light zone. You’re feeling very calm and relaxed. You’re in the ventral vagal, to borrow from polyvagal theory. You feel connected. That’s the green light zone. As stressors rise or whatever’s going on in your life increases, you’ll have a moment where you’re like, “I’m not feeling relaxed anymore. I’m feeling a little activated.”

If that activation continues, we’ll go right into the yellow light zone. This is feeling more anxious. This is feeling angry or stressed. Maybe you’re sweating, or you’re having a histamine reaction. You’ve seen some people fake it. They get welts everywhere when they get stressed. Whatever it is for you. If that cause or those causes continue more and more, we go into the red light zone. That’s a crisis. That’s panic.

When panic is there, your body is like, “This is our last ditch effort to try to protect you and keep you safe.” For many of us, it feels like that panic is completely out of context. It feels completely out of the blue. What our job is and what this paradigm is is to understand what panic is, what panic isn’t, what anxiety is, and what anxiety isn’t, and then to figure out what all of these signals are trying to tell us needs healing and how. That’s what I teach about in the book. It’s different for everybody, but it’s all very powerful messages. What a gift it is that we have them.

Thank you for slowing things down and giving that clearer explanation. I love the green, yellow, and red. For those who have experienced a panic attack, you know that red zone. I recall a client coming to me who had his first-ever panic attack. He ended up in the ER. He was a strong guy, young, tough, and everything according to him. He couldn’t understand what happened.

The ER doctor gave him a diagnosis that, in my estimation, wasn’t appropriate, especially in that singular situation. That diagnosis messed with this person’s mind. He was like, “I’m labeled. It’s in my record. I have this diagnosis.” We worked from the beginning. I wish I had had a copy of your book to give to him because he would’ve felt so comforted.

We learned to work through anxiety and see all of the things that had led to that panic attack. That’s what we did. We retraced the steps, so to speak. We saw what had happened. He was able to identify the snowball that was rolling down the hill that he ultimately didn’t see, and then came to understand why it happened. That was fairly easy, not easy for him, but an easy case to track. Yet, sometimes, it’s a lot more complicated than that. When we look at this listener’s question, what are your thoughts?

Cheating & Trauma: The Hidden Roots of Anxiety

I honor this person. You were in a relationship for three years, and to have that feeling of, “It’s over. I felt like I got sideswiped by the infidelity,” and how devastating that must be. A trauma is something that changes the way we see ourselves, others, and/or the world. I don’t know what it was like for you, but I can imagine it was very painful. I can imagine that there was a lot that needed to be tried to protect you and adjust to that trauma in the mind, body, and nervous system.

Remember, your mind, body, and nervous system are not trying to keep you happy and calm. They’re trying to keep you safe. When something happens that feels scary, upsetting, or traumatic in whatever way, all of these biofeedback loops start kicking into place, which is like, “We are going to look for evidence of any danger. We’re going to do everything that we can to protect you from that danger.”

If I had you with me, what I might do is we might go to that moment, or maybe the moments leading up to that big event that comes to your mind. It comes to your mind for a reason. It could be that there are additional and other things. We think about the accumulation of stressors. We would go to that moment, and we would talk about in what way you adapted, given what happened in that moment. What we want to do is reprogram that. We want to recalibrate that adaptation.

For example, in that moment, you thought that you were safe, you felt like you were in a secure relationship, and for three years, maybe you were thinking about your future together, and then suddenly, perhaps out of the blue, this person cheats on you. The world is tipped off its axis. Relationships are safe. Things can happen. You’re like, “I wasn’t ready for that. I should have been prepared for that. I didn’t see it coming.”

This hypervigilance can be produced, and that hypervigilance can then generalize to other areas of our body. Perhaps we would talk about how your sleep has been since the breakup. What’s been happening in your nutrition since the breakup? What were your past relationships like, attachment, maybe even before the breakup?

The other thing I want to mention before I take a pause to get your feedback is that there’s a time and place for anxiety medicine. I honor that you’re taking the medicine that you and your doctor have talked about. That’s okay. I would also encourage you to put a semicolon after you’re taking the medicine and allow yourself to begin the journey of radical curiosity about what is deeper. Ask yourself, “What is this telling me that I have an opportunity to uncover? What is this opportunity telling me that I can truly, deeply heal in a more profound way?” I wanted to mention that piece, too.

What a beautiful synopsis. I appreciate it. You have such empathy. I’m sure the person who wrote in, if they are tuning in, would feel so good to hear your kind, gentle, non-shaming tone with this person. It’s interesting. When I was looking at the question, I thought, “Hmm.” I do my own little clinical analysis of it. It’s interesting that you went straight to that there was a breakup. It doesn’t say that.

I went, “Isn’t that interesting?” You see that she or they broke up with the person who cheated. I went, “I wonder if the anxiety that’s morphed into panic had gone into that red light zone,” to use your words. I wonder if this person’s still with the boyfriend.” In which case, that threat, I don’t know which it is, is interesting to look at from both perspectives.

I appreciate that insight because if he’s out of the picture, this person now has maybe a fresh space. Maybe they’re worried about dating, or maybe they’re not even there yet. That anxiety and the trauma of that painful experience of coming to find out that someone you care about has cheated on you, betrayed you, or however it was. It doesn’t have to be a physical betrayal. It can be an emotional betrayal.

If they’re still living with the person, I wonder what that would be like to be leaving, coming home, and then wondering, “I wonder what he did while I was gone. I wonder what I’m going to walk into.” I don’t know if they walked in on the person cheating or how they discovered it. Going back to your part about hypervigilance, when our systems are in a hypervigilant mode all the time, it works against our well-being.

I appreciate something you said earlier. I wrote it down because I’ve never heard it put quite this way before. You said, “Our brain doesn’t necessarily care about our well-being. It cares about our safety.” I’ve never heard it put that way before. It’s so true. Even if it drives us crazy, those anxious thoughts and that panic, our brains are trying to keep us safe, and it certainly can work against our well-being.

The 3-Minute Hack: Reprogramming Your Panic Response

Thank you for offering a unique vantage point. You are inviting this listener, wherever they are and what we’ve talked about, whether they’re with the person or not with the person, to become deeply curious. Could you guide us into what that would look like to be deeply curious about what sounds like a little beast of anxiety walking around?

Yes. Looking at it, I would borrow from EMDR, which, for those who are new, is a form of therapy. It stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy. EMDR practitioners are trained to look at the mind, body, nervous system, our thoughts, our emotions, and our behaviors as they relate to our current experience. What I would encourage you to do is there’s this exercise that I teach. It’s called the three-minute hack. Here are the steps. We won’t do them for three minutes, but I’ll teach you the dance steps. When you’re by yourself and you have some time, you can do this at home.

What I would do is I would notice what it’s like for you when you’re on a plane and you’re having that feeling of panic. What do you feel in your body? What are the sensations? Get curious about the sensations. As you’re doing that, I’m imagining that I could put you under a functional MRI brain scan and look at the different areas of the brain that are illuminated as your body speaks and tells its story of the panic.

Get curious about the sensations. Remember the sensations. The more that we deny, our symptoms will amplify. The more that we resist, the more our symptoms will persist. Even simply noticing it is the first step towards being free. You notice the sensations that happen when you’re on a plane, and then notice what emotions are coming up with that. Sometimes, fear is fear, but sometimes, it is mixed with loss, grief, rage, and frustration. Whatever those emotions are, notice them, and then the thoughts that are coming to your mind.

This is where cognitive behavioral therapy sparkles and shines. It is in the thoughts. You’re like, “This plane is not safe. I’m unsafe. Anything can happen to me. I deserve this. I’m a bad person.” Whatever the thoughts are, notice all the thoughts. We’ve noticed thoughts, feelings, and sensations. We do that for one minute. I even set an alarm on my phone. After one minute, we’re going to set the phone for one more minute.

For that second minute, I want you to go down the timeline. Imagine that you’re zooming out and looking at a little road. Perhaps you’re in the plane and you’re looking out the window. From where you are, look out the window and imagine it’s like a candy land map, and it’s going into your past. I want you to try to identify the very first time you remember having similar or the same emotions, sensations, and thoughts. When you are able to notice that, that’s one of the roots. You’re going to notice that earliest time. You’re going to notice the sensations that your younger self had. You’re going to notice the thoughts. You’re going to notice all of those interweaving variables, and then the alarm will go off.

Here’s the last part, the last 2 to 3-minute hack. One more minute. What you’re going to do, if you feel safe and comfy doing this, is you’re going to do a little bit of gentle touch. We call this havening. It’s very grounding. For those who are reading, I’m taking my palms. It’s almost like you’re dusting off your palms. You may even imagine that as you touch, you feel a little bit more grounded and safer. Maybe you want to dust off your shoulders, and you repetitively do that gesture. Perhaps it’s your face. I don’t know if you’ve ever had a loving person stroke your face, a very loving, gentle touch.

While you do that for this last minute, you’re going to talk to this part. You are going to talk to this early memory. This is what I want you to say to this part. “I hear you. I’m listening, and I honor your part. Thank you so much for sharing with me your suffering, your wisdom, and your mission. I want to let you know that I’ve got you. Part, if you will, please know that I have resources, support, and things that you didn’t have. Plus, I have everything you’ve given me. I want to ask you to set down that heavy burden of trying to take care of us.”

See what it might feel like. Perhaps you might even imagine. You’re still doing the touch, you’re noticing, and you’re talking to that part. Maybe in your mind, you’re allowed. Maybe even notice that part if she, he, or they’re carrying that backpack. What might it be like to set that backpack down that represents carrying that heavy burden? It is then breathing that sigh, and then telling that part, as your clock winds down, that you’re listening, that they can talk to you anytime they need, and that you’ve got them.

What this does in three minutes is activate the mind, body, nervous system, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and all of those networks throughout the mind to the body. It then starts to target the associative networks. These are things that are hijacking us from the past that make us feel stressed in the now, and then we’re beginning the process of reprogramming that. The research in EMDR shows that we can change our immune system, hormones, inflammation levels, thoughts, and neuroplastic patterning. We can change all of that by doing an exercise like this. It only takes three minutes a day. That’s what I would do in terms of getting curious, going in, and reprogramming.

Thank you for that three-minute hack. It is beautiful and very body, mind, and spirit. It is connecting all of those parts of who we are. I agree with you. There’s a time and place for medication. Medication does not get to the roots. It calms us in the moment or helps in the moment. In this case, anxiety meds don’t help us address. As this listener said in their inquiry, they don’t want to be reliant on it for a lifetime, so it sounds as if they very much want to get to the root causes.

I’m also EMDR certified. Readers, if you think that this is some airy-fairy technique, first off, when Dr. Shapiro founded it, it was termed Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, but it’s bilateral stimulation and reprocessing. Meaning, you are doing movements from side to side, so it doesn’t necessarily have to be your eyes. It can be touching. It can be tapping. It can be lights and that sort of thing. There is wonderful research on it. It’s very good for helping with trauma. That’s an aside.

I believe in EMDR. When I was being trained in it, we had to have it done on us, so I know very much what it feels like to be a participant, not just a practitioner. It can be very effective. I appreciate the three-minute hack because for many people, they can’t afford going to therapy or don’t want to go to therapy. You are saying to do this hack for three minutes a day. For how long? Is it dependent on the person’s neurobiology or who they are? What do you see?

It depends on how acute it is and how many areas of the mind and the body have been recruited to help you. Some of that stuff is sticky. I used to have horrible panic attacks on the plane. It started after being on a turbulent flight going into Phoenix. I thought, “This is about this scary flight. I could probably do a session of EMDR or maybe a few sessions of the three-minute hack and be good with it.” What I discovered is that it was tied to this fundamental sense of uncertainty and a lack of safety. It occurred to me that I was out of control on a plane.

For me and maybe some of your other readers, it’s a little bit more complex, so it’ll take more time. The beautiful thing is that there’s nothing too big. EMDR started doing a lot of their research on veterans who went through horrible and horrific combat trauma. After six sessions, the majority of individuals who received EMDR no longer satisfied the criteria for PTSD. It works. Sometimes, it takes more time, though, so be patient with yourselves.

Unpacking Control: A Core Anxiety Activator

I agree with you. It works. I used to do pro bono work with veterans. EMDR was a significantly helpful tool in most cases. I have another question for you. When you are looking at even using your situation with the panic on the airplane, having to address it, and the lack of safety and control, do you tend to see that as one of the main root causes of most anxiety and panic? The high-level red light situations, or yellow to red.

It’s that window of tolerance. It’s how long can we stand being outside of our comfort zone where I feel in control, I understand the situation, and I know I can perform. When we’re somewhere, like on a flight, if we start getting stressed, we can’t just walk and go somewhere else. We’re stuck there. That pendulum between powerlessness and gripping onto control is a very big activator.

What happens now when I’m on a flight and it gets bumpy is that my body remembers. Sometimes, I do get those flushes of sensations of fear in the body, but my experience of it is much more curious and compassionate. I’m saying, “Your hands are hot. I think your body is feeling a little stressed. Let’s up our self-care. Let’s eat ginger candy. Let’s do some Sudoku and activate our logical brain. I hear you, parts, and it’s okay.” That is different from, “I feel out of control. I have no power. I have anxiety and panic.” It’s recalibrating our relationship to what can be funny sensations.

I appreciate that. I encourage you to try and see the video because you’ll benefit from seeing Dr. Nicole and how she’s so gentle in her movements. Not only how you look, and make great eye contact, but your movements are very gentle. We have very little power when we’re in an airplane. Even when using the restroom, sometimes, you’re waiting in line. You’re all of these things. You have a few food choices. You have limited mobility.

All of these limitations are things that can provoke that simmering anxiety and cause this reminder for our person who wrote in. It is a reminder that this person is not safe in relationships and a reminder about love, or supposed love. I’m not sure that this person who cheated was truly capable of loving, or they likely would not have done that. It can be a provocation on so many levels for all of these lingering pieces that are saying, “These other parts of my life are not in control. It’s exacerbated, and there comes panic.”

I know we’re coming to the time, and I want to honor that. A couple of more tips for flying anxiety are I would encourage you to promote personal power by practicing that curiosity and that acknowledgement when you’re not in a plane, and imagining and maybe laying down those imaginative roads in the brain of feeling curious and calm, even if your body feels goofy. The brain isn’t good at detecting the difference between reality and imagination. If, between flights, you can practice that, then it can be helpful when you do keep flying.

Flight Anxiety & Beyond: Practical Tips for Empowerment

I would encourage you to practice things that get you in the body and that activate the logical prefrontal cortex. When we get an emotional hijack and our amygdalas, that big feeling part of the brain, is like, “We’re in danger,” that illogical brain can get shut down a little bit. When you’re on the plane, write with your opposite hand. Instead of your dominant hand, try writing with your opposite hand.

Get a cup of ice or eat ginger candy. Perhaps you do some breathwork while you do mental math. Do things that will help activate the logical brain and get you back in your body. You’re going to notice, “This is a little easier,” and then you feel a little more in control and a little bit more confident. Keep doing that, and then you’ll be like me. I’m flying to Portugal. Going from panic attacks on a plane to an international flight is possible for all of us.

You are such a lovely soul and so genuine. I appreciate you so much. Dr. Nicole’s book, Panic Proof, is a gorgeous book inside and out. Where can our readers find you?

I love to hang out online. Anything that has a handle of @DrNicoleCain. That would be Instagram or YouTube. I have a website with lots of free goodies. My favorite free goodie is the 9 Types of Anxiety Quiz. If you’re wondering where to start with all this, that would be a good place.

You’re such a terrific light. I’m so grateful to you for taking such thorough time, walking us through anxiety, panic, and the listener’s question. Thank you again.

Thank you. It’s been such a joy.

It’s been such a delight. Readers, as always, I thank you for sharing your time and energy with us. This is Imperfect Love

Important Links

• Dr. Nicole Cain
• Holistic Wellness Collective
• Panic Proof: The New Holistic Solution to End Your Anxiety Forever
• Joy From Fear
• Dr. Nicole Cain on Instagram
• Dr. Nicole Cain on YouTube
• About Dr. Nicole Cane, ND, MA
• Free Resources & Gifts for Holistic Health from Dr. Nicole Cain
• 9 Types of Anxiety Quiz
• NAMI HelpLine
• Carla Marie Manly, PhD
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on Instagram
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on X
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on Facebook
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on LinkedIn
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on YouTube
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly on TikTok

About Dr. Nicole Cain

Nicole Cain, ND, MA, is a pioneer in integrative approaches for mental and emotional wellness. With a degree in clinical psychology, training in EMDR, and a license as a Naturopathic Physician in the state of Arizona, her approach to mental health is multidisciplinary: medical, psychological, and holistic.

A sought after speaker and writer, Dr. Nicole Cain has shared her expertise on the Tamron Hall Show and presented alongside renowned doctors like Deepak Chopra. Her insights have been regularly featured in such publications as Psychology Today, Health Magazine, Huff Post, The Daily Mail, Katie Couric Media, Salon, Spirituality & Health Magazine, and more. Dr. Nicole Cain has been a guest on popular podcasts such as This Genius Life, Brendan Burchard’s Growth Day, Therapy Jeff, Heal Thyself, Well with Arielle, Love Happiness and Success, KPCW’s Cool Science, Just Between Us, and many more. A comprehensive list of media appearances by Dr. Nicole Cain, ND MA.

Dr. Nicole is also the founder of the Holistic Wellness Collective, a one-stop-shop membership program designed to support self-healers. This program guides users through the practical application of Panic Proof’s wisdom, offering helpful videos and a supportive community.