Imposter syndrome haunts many of us. For those who suffer from this self-defeating dynamic, I’ve found that feelings of being an imposter stay entrenched even when others offer heartfelt validation. The persistent fear of not being enough, which often begins in early childhood, can lead to chronic feelings of self-doubt and incompetence that override the truth that we are all valuable and deserving. When we dive into the genesis of our fears and self-doubt, we can come to embrace our true aptitudes and worthiness. Join Dr. Carla Manly and licensed psychotherapist and self-love coach Linda Sanderville for a liberating journey into using your brain and body’s innate healing powers to embrace your true value and release the illusion of perfection. You can put an end to feelings of unworthiness and self-sabotaging behaviors one gentle step at a time!

 

Books by Dr. Carla Manly:

Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships and Love Fearlessly

Joy From Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend

Aging Joyfully: A Woman’s Guide to Optimal Health, Relationships, and Fulfillment for Her 50s and Beyond

The Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached Relationships

 

Connect with Dr. Carla Manly:

Website: https://www.drcarlamanly.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcarlamanly/

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/drcarlamanly/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drcarlamanly

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carla-marie-manly-8682362b/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carlamariemanly8543

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr_carla_manly

Connect with Linda Sanderville:

Website: https://www.lindasanderville.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindasandervillemsw/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lindasanderville

 

Important Links:

EMDR Therapy: https://www.emdria.org/

ART Therapy: https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/

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Watch the episode here

 

Listen to the podcast here

 

Suffering from Imposter Syndrome? Filled with Self-Doubt? Discover Empowering Tips for Embracing Self-Worth with Expert Linda Sanderville

Create Strong Self-Esteem and Self-Love by Letting Go of Fear and Perfectionist Attitudes

The imposter syndrome haunts many of us. For those who suffer from this difficult syndrome, I found that feelings of being an imposter stay entrenched even when others offer affirming validations. The persistent fear of not being enough, which often begins in early childhood, can lead to chronic feelings of self-doubt and incompetence that override the truth that we are all valuable and deserving.

When we dive into the genesis of our fears and self-doubt, we can come to embrace our true aptitudes and worthiness. We’ll focus on this reader’s real-life question, “I suffer from imposter syndrome not at work, but everywhere in my life. I never feel like I’m truly good enough or worthy. Please give me some good tips for getting over this and creating better self-esteem. I’m tired of being stuck.” With that question as the focus of this episode, this is the show.

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I’m joined by a very special guest, Linda Sanderville. She is an MSW and RYT. Her specialty is being a self-love coach.

 

 

Welcome to the show, Linda. It’s such a pleasure to have you.

Thank you so much. It’s an honor to be here with you.

Before we launch into the question of the day, could you tell our audience a little bit about what makes you you?

Imposter syndrome haunts many of us. For those who suffer from this self-defeating syndrome, feelings of being an imposter stay entrenched despite any success. Join Dr. Carla and psychotherapist and self-love coach Linda Sanderville for a liberating… Click To Tweet

I’d love to. I’m a psychotherapist and a registered yoga teacher. In both sides of the work that I do, I specialize in providing trauma-informed care to my clients. The reason I do this is because I saw in my counseling practice how widespread it is to have loss, grief, or some kind of trauma in our backgrounds. Whether or not folks ever end up seeing a counselor or a therapist, it seems to be the undercurrent of so much of what affects us in the day-to-day as women. That’s why I wanted to be able to provide resources and care that was really gentle and was not pathologizing people. It is seeing them as already being whole. I am the vehicle to reconnect them to themselves so they can show up in their lives with a lot more vibrancy, joy, and confidence to do what they want to do, whatever that is.

Thank you. That’s so gorgeous. We have something in common already. Not only are we both psychotherapists, but I’m a yoga teacher too. I believe in the healing power of yoga when it’s used as more than a form of exercise when we use it mindfully. I’m going to ask you a question. You mentioned women. For our male audience, are they going to be able to take away as much as our female audience?

The persistent fear of not being enough can lead to chronic feelings of self-doubt and incompetence that override the truth that we are all valuable and deserving. Join Dr. Carla and psychotherapist Linda Sanderville for a journey into self-esteem and… Click To Tweet

Absolutely. I do work with male clients too, and they have the same needs. It might be in a different context that might show up in different “symptoms”. The men that I work with are also looking to heal internally because it’s showing up in different ways in their external life, like work, relationships, confidence in speaking, or whatever it is. They will be able to tune into this episode with us.

That’s good. Regardless of your gender, in this episode, we’ll go through a lot with Linda and soak up some yummy tips on self-love. When we go back to the reader’s question, the person is suffering from imposter syndrome. Before we dive into that, and I know you work with imposter syndrome, could you describe what that looks like and what that feels like for the person who suffers?

Yeah. I’m working with folks who are busy professionals. They are looking to advance in their careers or grow their businesses. A lot of times, what I see is, one, there’s a sense that you have to earn your rest. You’re like, “I need to work really hard now before I can take a rest for myself.” In some ways, that’s imposter syndrome because it’s as if we don’t deserve rest off the bat. The truth is that we need that to function, to be creative, and to have the ideas that are going to propel us forward in our careers. If we skip over it thinking, “I have to work hard first. I have to have blood, sweat, and tears first,” we can sabotage our ability to show our genius and show our true capacity in the ways that we want to. That’s one, trying to earn our rest.

 

Let’s pause for a second. When you say earn our rest, does that mean simply, because I never tied rest to imposter syndrome so I love this, slowing down to allow yourself to have timeouts during the day, to make space for yourself to get to sleep on time, and pieces like that?

Pieces like that. One thing that is pretty common is that folks need some freedom of time and space to creatively, brainstorm, or let ideas come to them. Where does that tend to happen? That tends to happen in quiet moments. That tends to happen when we’re bored. We’re not busy doing a whole lot of things or multitasking.

Having space in which you can settle down, whether that is sleep or conscious rest when your eyes are open and you’re still awake, those are all moments where you can have some of the most brilliant ideas occur to you. That’s because your brain is constantly working in the background, trying to solve problems for you. That’s the reticular activating system. We think of something and we have a question in our minds, “How do we make this work?” Our brain is trying to look for cues in our environment to solve that for us. If we’re always overtaxing our systems or our brains doing five things at once, getting to sleep in an exhausted state that we’re blacking out at night versus gently loading into rest, we aren’t giving our mindset an optimal opportunity to be creative and bear that fruit.

If we're always overtaxing our systems and overtaxing our brains, doing five things at once and getting to sleep in a really exhausted state, we aren't giving our mindset the optimal opportunity to actually be creative and bear that kind of fruit. Click To Tweet

You keep bringing up the word creative. Let’s focus on that in a moment. Before we get to the creative, for the audience who don’t know what you mean by the reticular activating system, would you give a short layman’s description, please?

Absolutely. The short layman’s description is that our brains are pattern-seeking machines. Our brains are constantly looking for patterns. They’re looking for A plus B equals C. They want to know the formula for the thing that we are focused on. If it’s relationships, “How do I get a relationship? How do I improve my relationship?” I see there are couples doing this. Let me try that.”

We’re constantly looking for information for simple patterns that we can then take for ourselves and use in our situation. The reticular activating system is pattern-seeking. It’s looking to solve that equation. That’s the most basic sense of what that means. That’s really all you need to know about it. It sounds very complicated, but it’s quite simple.

I love the way you explained it because it is what we do. People often disregard how much consistency matters and how much there’s an undercurrent of trying to figure out, “Read a room,” or figure out a situation. That’s our brain trying to make sense of things so that we can feel safe. It’s that primary need of safety.

I love how you brought us into the space of the reticular activating system because it is something that once we know it’s running behind the scenes and it’s always doing this, we can learn to shift our patterns into ways that work for us rather than against us. If we’re doing the same thing over and over again and it’s harming us or others, we want to realize, “I’m not broken. I’m not stupid. I simply have all of these patterns that I might want to pause, reassess, and keep trying to train my brain to create different neural pathways or different patterns.” What do you think?

Right there. That’s it. That’s the beauty of our brains. They are shapeable. Scientists usually call this plastic or neuroplasticity. The fact is that the patterns that we make in our brain and the literal physical grooves in our brain can be shifted. That’s what we’re talking about. It is those patterns or those ideas that we have about how things work.

The idea that we have about how things work that leads to our imposter syndrome, maybe some of those things are a little bit faulty. It’s not that we’re at fault or I’m blaming anyone who’s reading. We all have these ideas, but maybe we can shift those beliefs and those ideas with our brains, come to believe other thoughts and other ideas that are much more positive and helpful and help us to finally achieve some of the things that we’re seeking to achieve.

When we can shift those beliefs and ideas with our brains and come to believe other thoughts and ideas that are actually much more positive and helpful, we can achieve some of the things that we're seeking to achieve. Click To Tweet

Thank you. You put it so beautifully. If we go back for a moment to the reader’s question, let’s imagine that this individual grew up in a household where they were criticized. We don’t know this. I don’t know this. I’m painting a picture. Let’s imagine that this individual grew up in a household where they were criticized, where they weren’t given kudos for what they did well, or where they weren’t seen and attuned to all of these things. Showing up in life, if you don’t know who you are, you’re going to feel like an imposter everywhere you go because you never learned who you are at your core and never learned that was valuable, wonderful, beautiful, and priceless.

For this individual, we can see that this individual’s brain learned patterns that said, “I’m not worthy. I’m not seen. I’m not loved.” It’s then about letting the brain, giving it some oomph and some tips so that it can go, “I am worthy. I am loved. I can step into this role and do this. I can stand in my truth. Even before I stand in my truth, I can come to learn my truth.” All of those pieces feed into what I imagine would be the foundation of not feeling like an imposter, but feeling like your genuine, strong, and valuable self.

It’s such a shame that so many of us carry this. It’s not just this reader. I carry this too. My clients carry this too. I’m sure yours do as well. Thank goodness though we have the opportunity once we realize, “That’s going on. I have a little bit of that funky stuff,” this imposter syndrome idea. We’re like, “Let me take a look at it and do something about it.”

I want to commend that person for even asking the question because, to me, that signals that they’re getting ready. They’re getting ready for a shift because they’re like, “I don’t want this. I don’t want to feel this way about myself. It’s not okay. I’m going to find out. I’m going to ask. I’m going to seek answers to help me deal with this issue so I don’t have to carry this any longer.” They’re making that an option. The fact that you’re getting curious about, “Maybe I don’t have to think this way,” you’ve taken the first step. I want to point that out right there.

I love when I get questions whether from a client, a reader, whoever’s asking me a question, or a loved one. For the reader’s questions, it means that they want something. They’re curious. They want to change. Something doesn’t feel good and they want to shift it. That takes such courage. I applaud it so very much. Let’s go back for a moment to creativity because I truly didn’t think of creativity as part of curing the imposter syndrome. I see the self-reflection piece.

Often, we do sessions with clients. Sometimes, we want to give a little bit of homework or something, but sometimes, the only homework is, “Go for a walk. Do some self-care. Let your brain do its work because the brain wants to sort it out.” If we get out of the way and allow it, the brain wants the body, the mind, and the spirit. They want to go toward healing. A little bit more, please, about the place of creativity.

I really see creativity as being one of our natural states. When you look at children, and I have two little ones so this is always present in my mind, they are born certifiable geniuses. They’re looking at a whole world that is completely brand new and absorbing it all for the first time. They’re taking in so much information, which they’re flooded with, but already, they’re sorting it into categories. They’re making those patterns. They’re curious about it all. That’s a natural state of receiving things.

They want to test it out. They want to throw the glass off the table. They want to use the crayons on the walls. They want to splash in the puddles. These are all different forms of investigation and really diving in and manipulating the world around you. I see that all as a form of creativity.

When we are in that natural state where we’re at enough rest that we can be curious and notice what’s around us, so much is possible in terms of us being able to find the solutions that we’ve been looking for and having the confidence to be like, “Let me try it out. Let me experiment. Let me give myself a moment to maybe “fail.” I don’t believe in failure for the most part, but we’re like, “Let me give myself the freedom to “fail” at something because I’m exploring it because I’m trying something new.”

Creativity is not just about taking up painting or doing photography, it’s also about trying things that are new for us, paying attention, being curious, and delighting in it because it’s being in that state of learning. We’re learning. We’re taking it in, we’re applying it in different situations. That’s what I mean when I talk about creativity and why rest is so essential to be able to allow that kind of engagement.

I love how you wove it all together. I am thinking of how you called children certifiable geniuses. It’s so true. I wanted to take a pause for our reader’s question and for all of us to reflect for a moment on a time in our childhood when we felt that we were seen. Somebody saw you and said, “You have this gift. You may someday grow up to be this,” or, “You’re gifted at this.” It came up for me as you were speaking. I could instantly remember one from my early childhood where I was tamped down. It was the opposite of, “You don’t want to do that. This is not whatever it was.” I remember what it was, but it doesn’t need a space here. The point is it’s interesting because I ultimately came back to that in life, the no message.

We can see for our reader and for all of us to take that pause and notice without judgment, no blame, and no shame. Notice. Was there a time in your life or maybe many times when you were given messages that were supportive or, conversely, messages that told you to be less and not be your creative, natural, amazing, genius self? That might be at the root of some cases of imposter syndrome. What do you think? That’s such a touching way to look at it. It’s deep. You could go pretty deep with that one.

Tying this in as you were doing with the reader’s question, I know this was true for me. I love that you pointed out that you came back to the no message. It’s almost like a reclamation. You reclaimed that part of you. Part of the message I was given without going into huge details was to be perfect or to not fail. They were like, “You don’t have the luxury to fail. Make sure you do it perfectly every time. Make sure you do it ten times better than anybody else.”

That’s a heavy load to carry.

Isn’t it, for a child or an adult? The irony is in my life, I’m in a place where I’m embracing the imperfection. I’m embracing the mess-ups. It’s getting to the point where it’s rolling off me. I’m like, “Whatever. Life moves on. I move on.” Many of us are given the message that we can’t be imperfect and we can’t practice failure or practice something.

We can come to this state of being flooded with this sense of, “I’m an imposter.” I won’t say 100% of the time, but oftentimes, we’re feeling that in areas where we do have a lot of experience, a lot to share, and a lot of expertise. It’s almost like the more that we know, the more that we also know what we don’t know. We then feel, “It’s not enough.” It’s enough to be very youthful and beneficial to somebody else, more than likely.

Being able to identify that imperfection is okay. In fact, it’s probably required. If we didn’t have imperfections, we would never learn enough about that thing, be curious enough, and be playful enough to give anybody else anything from what we’ve learned. If we were perfect from the jump, no one would be able to relate to us. Most people wouldn’t want to listen to us. They wouldn’t want to be friends with us. They would feel bad being around us. The fact that we have imperfections that tie us into all of the rest of humanity makes us a little bit more relatable and a little more lovable.

 

 

I love that.

I don’t love my husband and my kids because they’re perfect, but because they’re not. Their imperfections are part of what makes them so unique and so particular. It is why I enjoy having them in my life, because of all of who they are, not because of the things that they do really well.

Thank you for focusing on imperfection because we do have those messages for whatever reason people get them, like you. You got it. They were like, “You have to be ten times better than everybody else. Be perfect.” Many people get messages of that type. We then grow up in some sort of straight jacket immediately of, “If I am not perfect, then I’m not lovable. I’m not going to be accepted. I’m not going to be safe,” when in truth, no human being is perfect. Maybe there are machines that can get something to near perfection, but we are not blow-up dolls painted in a factory.

I struggled with perfection for a long time. Now, I look at it as, “What areas do I need to really try to get as good as possible?” For one of my books, that’s where it’s worth struggling for almost perfection if I can get it there, but then, I could rewrite each one and do it better the next time. They’re not perfect as much as I think they are once they’re finished. I could rewrite them and condense them. We realize perfection is a moving target.

Let’s put this out, especially for this reader who we can imagine there’s a lot of struggle with not being perfect underneath there. We can realize, “We are all imperfect.” No image out there is as pretty as it looks of this person, as handsome as this, or as great as the spread looks that we’re seeing on Instagram or whatever it is. It’s never perfect. It is about us noticing where we want to put our effort, our energy, and our thoughts. If we’re always pursuing this ideal of perfection, which does not exist, look at how much we’re wasting our time and energy. It makes us feel like imposters in our own lives because we are not the perfect whatever-it-is, whether it be wife, husband, employee, partner, or boss. It’s not possible. What do you think?

If we're always pursuing this ideal of perfection, which does not exist, we're wasting our time and energy, and it makes us feel like imposters in our own lives. Click To Tweet

You’re really pointing out the power of our choice that we get choices. We get to be intentional about where we spend our most precious assets, our time and our energy. We get to choose that. It doesn’t have to be everything like you’re talking about that we need to invest ourselves so heavily. You get to make a choice.

If you are able to make those more intentional choices about where you spend your time and energy, then guess what? Immediately, you’ve opened up all these different avenues where you can rest more because you’re like, “I’m not going to spend it on that.” Suddenly, you get an extra hour in the day or maybe an extra couple hours on the weekend to play, be, or maybe listen to music, whatever your thing is. The spaces where you can feel like you are yourself. You’re getting to know yourself.

I want to point out that so many of these unmet needs that lead to imposter syndrome, perfectionism, or self-sabotage, so many of these needs are rooted in our early lives. You and I both indicated that we have different memories that we’re like, “I can immediately see when that person was saying this,” or whatever. Many of these early life experiences end up shaping these ideas, these grooves in our brains, or these patterns.

If we’re able to directly address in a very loving, gentle, and intentional way those early memories and experiences, that allows us to lift that idea or that belief up and out of our brains at the root. Everything else that we’re trying to work on within ourselves becomes a lot easier because that core belief has been addressed that has been causing a lot of those problems in the first place.

 

Thank you for bringing up core beliefs. We know as psychotherapists what we’re working with a lot of the time. The core beliefs, the trauma, and all the issues that are held in the body and all of that. If our audience doesn’t know how powerful that is when we’re talking about core beliefs, could you give a little definition of core beliefs?

Yeah. Core beliefs tend to be these usually negative, unfortunately, ideas that we hold about ourselves that then influence the way that we interact with other people, ourselves, and the world around us. They’re very simplistic ideas, things such as, “I am not enough,” or, “I am not lovable,” or, “I will be abandoned.” They’re simple ideas that when you say them out loud oftentimes seem really extreme. You’re like, “Who thinks that?”

When we dial back and go from the, “I feel like an imposter at work in comparison to such and such coworker. I feel like I’m not as effective or producing as much,” when we go deeper underneath each of those instances and ideas, eventually, we get back to, “I will never be enough.” It can take some time to process, arrive there, or accept. That’s what you think underneath it all. When you do, then you can also identify, “I know where that started. I remember when I began to believe the fear and internalize that fear that I might never be enough.”

When we know where it started, and like a trained psychotherapist or whoever can help with this, then you go back and walk that journey with your inner child. You reprocess that memory or that experience and do it in a way that brings you a feeling of wholeness. It gets you back together again in the way that you should have been initially in the first place. Sometimes, in the present, we can be the answer to the past us. What younger child us needed back then, we can go back and give that to ourselves. It’s amazing how it shifts our minds and perspective when we do that. I can attest to that personally and certainly so many of my clients can as well.

For our audience and the one who wrote in, when we’re talking about inner child work, some people throw it away and go, “That sounds too strange or too odd.” Yet, the idea is, and I am a wholehearted believer in inner child work, that when we have a trauma, trauma stays with us. Internal messages stay with us for a lifetime. They’re there. It’s implanted in the psyche. It’s there until we shift it. If those messages are good, those beliefs are good. The core beliefs are, “I’m wonderful. I’m strong. I’m capable. I’m a good, valuable human being.” That’s the ideal when a parent sees and attunes to the child.

For many people, particularly kids who grew up in really traumatic or difficult households or had later relationships that really devalued them in any form of abuse, then those core beliefs, in addition to the ones you outlined, can become, “I am not lovable. I am not worthy of love. I am not good. I am defective. I am a stranger to myself.” Thus, not being able to be rooted in all of these thousands of core beliefs.

R emember. Trauma stays with us. If these messages were implanted in you from birth forward or age 3, 5, or 7 forward, they’re still stuck nice and cozy in your brain. I like that you highlighted that it’s often helpful to do it with the psychotherapist. For someone who can’t afford psychotherapy or doesn’t want to engage in psychotherapy, it sounds simple. It’s like, “I can switch from saying, “I’m not valuable,” and, “I’m not worthy,” to, “I’m valuable. I’m worthy. Now, I’m fixed. I’ll go on my way.” Going back to work with that inner child involves a lot of reprogramming. Other than seeing a psychotherapist, because we know the right psychotherapist can do a lot of good work in that realm, what else would you suggest?

Yeah. There are so many. As far as ways that are completely free, I would suggest finding podcasts by reputable clinicians who do hypnotherapy. I’m a hypnotist as well. If you find some really high-quality podcasts, you can listen to some hypnosis recordings where they’re gently engaging you and going back to a memory that links to your feeling of imposter syndrome now. You can do that. It walks you through how to do that and how to connect. There may be some questions to ask yourself when you get there or some actions you can take when you get there. That can be a nice way to dip your toes in because there’s no commitment there. It’s not a person that you’re meeting with. You could listen and explore what that feels like for you.

Certainly, different forms of movement are very helpful. You and I are both yoga teachers. Being able to do restorative, gentle, and nourishing movements. That could be as basic as walking. It could be going on walks on a regular basis outside. There’s something about that bilateral stimulation. That means it’s engaging both sides of your body as you go back and forth moving your legs if you walk with your legs. That can also be restorative and gentle to the body which helps you reconnect and feel more centered. You can also look up YouTube videos on breath work and do some guided breath work with someone who’s also reputable. That can be a nice way to nourish your inner parts.

When you’re ready to dive deeper, it is very helpful to go to someone who has more training in this area and knows how to work with internal parts like internal family systems. I won’t dive too deep into that, but if folks are curious, they can always find me and learn a little bit more about that. That guides you in how to work with your inner child in a way that honors your mind’s natural protection systems. Sometimes, our mind doesn’t really want to go there, and there are reasons why it doesn’t want to. We don’t want to ever force it.

There will always be a time when it’s, “I’m ready. Let’s talk more about this. Let’s address this thing that happened in the past.” You never want to force it. You never want to see anyone who’s going to make you do that when your mind or your brain is not ready. When you are, being able to engage with your inner child in a way that honors your protection systems, it is a beautiful way to go about that work.

Such good points. I would like to add to the audience that I’m personally a big believer in journaling. It’s not journaling in a way where you criticize yourself, but you allow the words to flow. Don’t even worry about how the script looks. Don’t worry about grammar. Let yourself vent onto paper, close it up, and leave it be. If you want to look at it in 5 years, look at it in 5 years. Open it up. The psyche wants to learn. It wants to grow. When we give it space where it’s not afraid of being judged or criticized, it is amazing how much pours out.

 

 

I love asking people  “Don’t read it.” I say, “When you read it, what happens?” They’re like, “I often criticize myself,” or, “I swore.” I say, “You are reinforcing that negative voice. Instead, give yourself a safe space.” If you’re going to therapy, you don’t record the session, play it back, and go over all the things that you said or didn’t say. You go and allow yourself to vent and be heard. That’s another lovely tool.

I love how you brought up movement because even being outside for a walk, if you’re putting your shoulders down and back and practicing putting your heart up to the sky, it acts like that. You’re right. The bilateral stimulation is soothing. This is the question for you. Somebody might say, “Unless I’m a triathlete and that gives me a sense of self-esteem, how is going for a walk going to make me break free of some of this imposter syndrome?”

Let’s remember that we are whole beings. Anything that we’re trying to address, we want to do it in a holistic manner. It doesn’t mean that because something is affecting the way that we think about ourselves or feel about ourselves, it means that our body is divorced from that. We’re physical as well as flesh and bone. We have muscles. When we can engage all these different aspects of ourselves, that’s where there’s a lot of progress that can be made.

Going back to the particular activating system and how our brains are constantly seeking patterns as well as solutions and formulas, you could give yourself a question before you go on a walk. You don’t have to do this. You can literally go on the walk. That’s enough. If you’d like to engage a different part of your mind differently, you could give yourself a question. This person said, “I feel like an imposter,” in every part of their lives.

You can ask yourself, “Is there any information that I’ve been given either recently or in the past that is contrary to this idea that I’m an imposter? Are there any instances in which I have been able to do something good and positive for other people? Are there any instances that people have been grateful for what I’ve given them, that I’m in their lives, or things that they enjoy about me? What information is there that I’ve experienced that’s contrary to this negative idea and these negative feelings that I’m  having?” Maybe ask yourself that question and then go on your walk. Don’t think about it. Start walking, moving left to right, scanning the horizon with your eyes, and breathing full, deep breaths as you go.

That’s an experience of giving yourself some mental rest where your brain can be creative and can look for other patterns because you’re asking a different kind of question. You’re going to get different kinds of information. That’s one way that you can engage with that, but the movement itself is so powerful. That’s because we’re whole, integrated beings and our body is involved with the thoughts and ideas we have about ourselves.

I want to add to that. A dear person I know gave me this feedback that was life-changing for me. I walk every morning. She said, “You seem a little bit stressed lately.” I said, “Even my morning walk is filled with podcasts,” because I feel like I have to keep up with my favorite podcasts. I’m like, “I come home, get ready for work, and launch into the day.” She said, “Maybe take the 1st mile or 2 miles of your walk and don’t start your podcast. Don’t listen to other people chatting, the news, or whatever it is. Instead, give that gift to yourself of nothing.”

It’s been a game-changer. It was odd. I almost needed someone else’s permission to go blank slate. Thoughts will come in, but sometimes it’s birds, leaves, the sky, the rain, or whatever it is. To the audience, allow yourself. We’re in such a do-do society that I agree with you. You can pose a question, but you don’t have to answer it. Let your brain do it. I have a question for you. Why did you say scan the horizon? Was there any particular reason?

You pick up on so many things. Part of the work that I do with clients is eye movement therapy-based. Part of what that comes from is this bilateral stimulation. When we go on walks, both sides of our body sync with each other. They’re coordinating with each other. Also, for those who can’t go on walks or even those who do, moving your eyes from side to side and gauging is a very similar response within the brain and the body.

T here’s a different impact that has on us as human animals that we can look far off into the horizon, letting our eyes scan the horizon. This is something that we’ve been doing for millennia. Humans have been looking and noticing their environments and making sure that they are safe, that they are secure, that everything is good, and that there are no predators out there.

It is a way to engage on a deep level with how we’re built and designed as humans. It’s incredibly restful and restorative for the body. It can help you with even regulating your thoughts and appropriately storing your memories. It helps your brain to filter all that information in a way that is incredibly helpful. It gets you unstuck in your mind with the different things that might be going on.

I’m curious. I’m EMDR certified. I’m guessing you’re EMDR certified.

ART.

Thank you so much for your time. It has been incredibly beautiful, enlightening, and informative. I believe you did a gorgeous job of addressing our reader’s question and anyone who suffers from imposter syndrome. Thank you so much. Where can our listeners find you?

You can certainly find me on my podcast as well. I have a podcast entitled Love Yourself Liberated! You can find me there. You can also find me on my website or on Instagram @LindaSandervilleMSW. It’s a pretty unique name. Come say hi.

It has been such a joy, a pleasure, and a privilege. Thank you for sharing your time.

Thank you for allowing me to be on with you and your audience. Thank

Thank you. To the audience, thank you for joining us. This is the show.

 

Important Links

• Linda Sanderville
• @LindaSandervilleMSW – Instagram
• EMDR Therapy: https://www.emdria.org/
• ART Therapy: https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/
• https://www.YouTube.com/@LindaSanderville
• Website: https://www.DrCarlaManly.com
• Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/DrCarlaManly/
• Twitter: https://www.Twitter.com/DrCarlaManly/
• Facebook: https://www.Facebook.com/DrCarlaManly
• LinkedIn: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/carla-marie-manly-8682362b/
• YouTube: https://www.YouTube.com/@Dr.CarlaMarieManly8543
• TikTok: https://www.TikTok.com/@dr_carla_manly

 

About Linda Sanderville

Linda Sanderville is a practicing psychotherapist and self-love coach. Linda teaches clients how to effectively replace their self-sabotage patterns with the habits and identity of someone filled with incredible self-love. Linda’s holistic approach combines deep inner work with strategic implementation to help others truly enjoy what they’ve worked so hard to attain. She focuses on helping women achieve their dreams without guilt, over-responsibility, or sacrificing their personal lives for professional success. Linda is the secret weapon for high-powered female leaders under stress and ready to redesign their lifestyles from the ground up to end burnout and start feeling like queens again! Linda’s podcast is “Love Yourself Liberated!”