Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Five Keys to Stopping the Torture of Negative Self-Talk

negative self-talk

Is there a sneaky voice inside your head saying, “Will I ever be good enough?” This negative self-talk and the thousands of destructive messages that come along with it has the power to decimate your self-esteem. Where does this nasty voice come from, and how can you eradicate it? Read on to discover the keys to exterminating the negative self-talk that has you believing that you’re not good enough–and never will be!

The Importance of the Inner Voice

Our thoughts truly do have a huge impact on how we see the world. If your inner voice is highly critical or self-doubting, you’ll see the world through a lens of fear and anxiety. Most negative inner voices arise as a result of toxic beliefs learned in childhood. These early beliefs can result in lifelong thoughts and patterns that have the power to keep us stuck in a world of negativity. What can you do to free yourself of the torture of these destructive, fear-based messages?

First of all, remember that you have the power to create greater self-awareness. For example, you can learn to notice the toxic voices that circulate inside your head. And, once you begin to become aware of these voices and their outright nasty messages you’ll begin to notice greater inner freedom and serenity.

You might be shaking your head and thinking, “Yeah, right. As if changing my self-talk is going to really change my world.” I’d smile at you and say, “You bet. When you begin to talk kindly and respectfully to yourself, this shift will absolutely rock your world.”

So, with that in mind, begin to notice if any, or all, of the following negative self-talk pesters your days and nights.

  • “Will I ever be good enough?”
  • “If only I could be more like so-and-so, my life would be so much better.”
  • “The only luck I have is bad luck.”
  • “I hate everything about myself, I’m such a wreck.”
  • “Everything I touch turns to crap.”
  • “My life is just a hot mess, it will never change.”
  • “I can’t forgive myself for mistakes I’ve made, I’m so broken.”

If messages like the above sound familiar, trust that you’re not alone. It’s all too easy to get stuck in negative thought patterns. Once these toxic narratives take hold, they become so entrenched that we don’t even realize how much they affect us and those we are with. The good news is that you can do something about it.

5 Steps to Eliminating Negative Self-Talk

Want to eradicate your negative thought patterns? Begin by practicing the five simple steps below.

1. NOTICE the negative messages.

To begin with, just do your best to notice when a negative thought begins to surface. Take note of the toxic scripts that tend to invade your mind the most. Even write them down so that you become familiar with their tricky, negative ways.

2. PAY ATTENTION to how the messages make you feel.

Notice the toxic, depressing feel of the negative message. These messages may make you feel anxious, gloomy, sad, irritable, or downright angry.

3. PRACTICE nonjudgmental release.

When these toxic messages arise, just practice letting go of them. By not attaching to them, much like ignoring the pesky kid in the classroom shooting spitballs at you, your mind will slowly release its attachment to torturing you.

4. BREATHE consciously.

After you release the negative message, breathe fully into the open, serene space that was occupied by the negative message. By pausing to breathe, you bring your mind into the present, a very open, nonjudgmental space.

5. POP into the positive.

Now, add a dose of positivity into your routine. This is your opportunity to replace the former negative thought with a dose of kindness and self-compassion. In this space, say something kind to yourself, such as “I am a good soul,” “I am kind,” “I am loved,” “I am connected to my Divine,” whatever words and sentiments make you feel good about YOU. It’s always a great idea to have a positive mantra or two on hand to repeat for quick reassurance.

It likely took years for the negative thoughts and messages that torture you to become entrenched in your brain, so be patient as you work to exterminate them. The kinder and more compassionate you are with yourself, the more positive your self-talk will naturally become.

You have the power within you to eliminate negative self-talk and to transform your life into one of joy and positivity. With practice and patience, you can overcome the toxic patterns that may have overtaken your mind. One step at a time, you have the power to change your inner world. I believe in you.

Enjoy tips such as the above in the pages of my powerfully life-changing book, Joy from Fear

39 Responses

  1. I’m 63 and I’m still relentless smash myself to pulp because of unachieved potential.
    It’s a good read but my lashing of self is so ingrained in my personality it will never change hence I find life infuriating and frustrating, the basically insidious enemy that does anything to destroy you.
    Look at the crap world we’re living in, a sad, negative rotten one with plenty assholes but ofcourse nice folk also but again, the rottenness of life eventually will get them too

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